This happened quite a few years ago, I'm guessing around 1991 or 92'. I was still dating that nurse at the U of P hospital and Halloween weekend was just another weekend for us, or so I thought. I picked her up at her place for our usual Saturday date when she dropped the bomb on me.
"We've got to go the the ER's Halloween party tonight!"
"Yeah, I thought I told you!"
"No, you never said anything to me. How long have you known about it?"
"About a month."
Wonderful. She's known about this party that we just HAVE to go to a month and springs it on me an hour before it's supposed to start.
"Is it a costume party?"
"Of course it it, silly, it's Halloween!"
"Do you have a costume?
"No, you were supposed to come up with the idea for costumes..."
I'm not in the mood for an argument, but how the fuck was I supposed to come up with ideas for costumes when she never fucking told me about the party in the first place? And now somehow it's my fault and I must now come up with the prize-winning costume in sixty minutes. I work well under pressure so the idea came quick and hit me like a bolt from the blue. I make a quick U-turn and head back to my apartment. I still had a whole lot of shit from the army still laying around and if I could find all the things I needed in my old duffle bag my idea would be a hoot. We might not win any prizes, but we'll definitely get a laugh or two. Especially with a bunch of doctors and nurses.
We get to my place and we rush up stairs. I pull the old duffle out of the closet and dump the contents out on the bed. I start digging and in a few minutes I have all the parts to make it come together... I gave her a woodland cammo BDU top and my old 'boonie' hat, I don a plain white t-shirt, woodland cammo BDU pants and combat boots which I promptly bloused airborne fashion. We jump back into my Bronco and head to the party, which was at some doctor's house out on the Main Line somewhere...
I'm going "Uptown" for this little shindig.
I find the house off of Cheltenham Avenue and find a parking space. My 1987' Ford Bronco, only four years old still definitely looks out of place among all the brand new BMW's, Mecedes and lexus'... We walk in and are an immediate hit.
What were we?
"Upper and Lower GI"...
Copyright 2005 Thomas J Wolfenden