Ashes to ashes, dust to dust...

I'm trying to come up with a "My First Irish Wake" kit as a spin-off toy... Including several passed out drunk Irishmen dolls... Can't call them "action figures" since they'll just lay there in a pool of their own vomit...

Happy Funny Foto Friday!

Oh Deer!

My boss emailed these to me a few days ago. This happened on the Railroad overpass I-15 between Capital Interchange and Cedar Street in Helena, MT. The deer jumped off the overpass and landed on top of a boxcar in the Helena Yard.
Didn't I tell all of you you see some really bizzare shit along the railroad tracks?



It's a mule deer for those of you on the east coast who are used to just seeing the whitetail variety...

Happy VD.

Ok, so this is supposed to be the day of love.

Big fucking deal.

Well, I'm not really feeling a whole shitload of love right now towards my family. Here's why.

Last week as most of you already know a huge supercell thunderstorm ripped through central Florida, killing 19 people. It wasn't real close to me, but not real far either. Every-fucking-body heard about it. It made the national fucking news...

And would you think that at least one person related to my by blood would have just taken a second or two to pick up the phone, call me and say "Hey Tommy, I heard about the tornadoes and shit down there in Florida... You ok?"

Did that happen?

Fuck no.

I haven't heard a peep out of anyone in Philly for well over three months.

Well, like they always say, you can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family.

Copyright 2007 Thomas J Wolfenden

A little visitor

So yesterday I came home in a rather pissy mood, but the one thing I did notice was this trap placed outside on my patio... I didn't know who set it or why, I was just hoping it wasn't for a skunk... That would have been a surprise that would have surely put my over the edge with as I was leaving for work last night. I went to work last night and the trap was still empty, but when I got home this morning ...
This little guy was there to greet me... I hope who ever comes to pick him up takes him far out in the wild as opposed to another option. We already got one last night with our train, I don't want to see this guy done low like that!

Copyright 2007 Thomas J Wolfenden

An all~around shitty night...

First off it pissed rain all fucking night... And my raingear sucks. Second, I found out the yardmaster that I started the crop with is coming back to work tonight after being off for 6 weeks for personal reasons I haven't quite figured out... This in itself wouldn't be so bad, but he's just about the biggest dickhead I've ever had the displeasure of working with, and I've worked with more than my fair share of them over the years.

So now I'm in a foul mood, soaked to the bone and even though I've been told there's a light at the end of the tunnel I somehow feel like it's actually another train barreling down on me.

More tomorrow. Right now I just want to get a hot shower and crawl into bed.

Copyright 2007 Thomas J Wolfenden

We're from the Government...

...And we're here to help!

Now if only the rest of the ATF agents would do this... And pull the trigger!

Happy Funny Foto Friday!

Sleep is for pussies

Not really...

Between the Cruds and not having a day off in well over a month I'm completely exhausted. Since the crop started back at the end of September I've had exactly two days off, besides working shitloads of overtime over and above my own shifts, I've become completely run down.

Last night I made two mistakes in a row... Not really big ones, there was never any possibility of myself or anyone else getting hurt, nor would it have derailed my train... But they were big enough in my mind... Loud enough to let me know I really, really need a few days off.

So I've decided to take a few days off. A few people are coming back to work after being off injured so on the 23rd of this month I'm taking a whole weekend and going to Ft. Myers. I might do a little fishing, I might just lounge on the beach. Hell, I might even just stay drunk the entire weekend... But the one thing I will be doing is spending a LOT of time in bed...

Because I NEED some bedtime!

Copyright 2007 Thomas J Wolfenden

The Return of the Clewiston Cruds

Rember back before Christmas I was so sick I felt like I'd been run over by my own freight train?

Well, I got hit by the return express a few days ago and have been feeling like shit again. Time to start popping Sudafed like M&M's and guzzling NyQuil by the gallon again...

What the Fuck!

Copyright 2007 Thomas J Wolfenden

moor trane pix!

So I get this email over the weekend... And I thought I'd oblige. It read: (verbatim)

Yo RT! I luv ur trane pix! Pleez post sum moor a them!!!! There kool! Thanx!!!!!

Ok...

Here's a rearward view of my train from my vantage point in the locomotive. Here we're leaving Townsite #3 cane elevator heading south to Weatherald #2 & #5 elevators, another ten miles south. We're pulling a cut of 60 empty cane cars to be spotted at there. It's around curves like this I take the opportunity to look back to check out my train for any defects.

You might have to click on this picture to see the date this rail was made... Most of the tracks we ride on are this old... Really puts emphasis on the words "Track Age" to our "Trackage".

And here's the coal mine I worked at in West Virginia. A Norfolk~Southern local leaving the tipple with another 50 cars of West Virginia bituminous.

Here the crew was waiting for train orders from the NS dispatchers.
And leaving the mine, destination; Points East.

Copyright 2007 Thomas J Wolfenden

I got a name...

Seems that with my new career, the yardmasters don't like my name and decided to give me a new one.

Hello. My name is Them.

Let me explain. Every night When Jack and I are bringing our train into the yard, we hear the yardmaster on the radio telling the yard conductor "Jack and Them are bringing in 80 loads..."

Every night I hear this. One night, Jack just looked at me and asked "Who the fuck is 'Them'?"

"I guess that's me... I'm 'Them'..."

I guess it's better than "Just call me Ishmael" but it does remind me of a really bad B-Grade horror movie with giant ants...

Copyright 2007 Thomas J Wolfenden

Yum, Yum, Yum!

I prefer mine slow roasted to medium~rare...

Happy Funny Foto Friday!

Railroad humor

So the last few nights have been unusually cold for southern Florida, but Jack (above) and I have pretty much taken it in stride... The end is in sight. It still doesn't stop either of our dry senses of humor in the slightest. Last night for instance...

I had just gotten back on the locomotive from coupling up a cut of 58 loaded cane cars. As I was keying in the information on my M-Crew computer, I mentioned to Jack that it was still cold enough I could see my breath...

Jack: "Yeah, but at least there's no mosquitoes!"

Me: "True..."

Jack: "This engine isn't doing anything in the number eight throttle postition again..."

Me: "You know what Jack? I'm so happy to be working for a company that beleives in preventative maintenance, and everything runs along like a finely-tuned, well-oiled machine..."

Jack: "That's where you work!"

What in the world would I do without sarcasm?

Copyright 2007 Thomas J Wolfenden