Tuesday, November 01, 2005

UK gone PC?

Every time I might think I've seen or heard it all, along comes these two stories out of the United Kingdom in the wake of the London bombings. I am not making this shit up. Bedfordshire Police issued an 18-point list of do's and don'ts when raiding suspected terrorist homes. One of the points is to remove shoes and refrain from using dogs... All to lower the likelihood of "offending" the Muslims.
Offend them? Fuck them! While they're building bombs and plotting to blow up more subways, buses and airliners killing more innocent people, we're falling all over ourselves trying not to offend them. If I was still a cop I'd be rubbing all my ammo in pig blood and let the fuckers know I did it. And I'd find someplace that makes boots from pigskin... And make sure the fuckers know about that as I kick them in the head putting on the flex-ties.
Here's another little gem of wisdom. Apparently some banks in the UK have decided to discontinue the time-honored tradition of giving "piggy banks" as gifts, again to negate the possibility of offending their Muslim customers. Not only that, all signs of porcine memorabilia must go from employee's desks and work stations... Winnie the Pooh's closest friend, Piglet? Outta there. AA Milne, an Englishman of the first order must be spinning in his grave.
I know what you're thinking. "Tommy my boy, you're shitting me!"
I shit you not.
Go here for that little nugget:
I am about sick and tired of this politically correct garbage. The PC crowd here have been calling us "Imperialists" for "starting" this war for some time... Let me make this crystal-fucking-clear...
Number one. We did not start this war, but sure as shit we'll finish it. Remember 9/11? How about the bombing of the Marine barracks in Lebanon in 1983? Pan Am flight 103 in Lockerbie, Scotland in 1988? The first WTC bombing in 1993? Khobar Towers in Saudi Arabia in 1996? The US embassies in Kenya & Tanzania in 1998? The USS Cole in 2000?
Number two. The Muslim fundamentalists we're fighting now not only in Iraq and Afghanistan but all over the world have one goal and one goal only. To convert the entire world to their brand of Islam, and if we won't convert, they will kill us all by what ever means available including the use of biological and nuclear weapons. If that doesn't sound like "Imperialism" I don't know what does. Lenin and Stalin had the same idea...
Now this. One of Iran's leading Islamic clerics says that it should wage nuclear war on Israel, also Iran's new hard-line president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, told a group of students at an anti-Israel event the other day that Israel must be "wiped off the map"
Kind of gives you the warm and fuzzies, doesn't it? If you think those over there will all join hands and sing "Cumbaya" with us if we all just sit down, and quoting Rodney King "Just try to get along."
I'll give you a hint. They do not want to get along. They do not want to hold hands and sing Cumbaya. They want to fucking kill us. All of us, and won't give up until we've driven them to ground and destroyed them or they've actually succeeded, and with all this politically correct bullshit and appeasement mentality, they might actually have a chance of doing just that.
Neville Chamberlain thought that way with the Munich Pact in 1939, because Hitler was really a swell guy and really didn't want to go to war or dominate the world, did he?
I need some sedatives now...
Copyright 2005 Thomas J Wolfenden

Monday, October 31, 2005

Halloweinie

I don't have any recent Halloween stories to relate today. There was some frat parties over the weekend and I saw some, shall we say interesting and unique costumes here in town, but really nothing to write about.

This happened quite a few years ago, I'm guessing around 1991 or 92'. I was still dating that nurse at the U of P hospital and Halloween weekend was just another weekend for us, or so I thought. I picked her up at her place for our usual Saturday date when she dropped the bomb on me.

"We've got to go the the ER's Halloween party tonight!"

"Tonight?"

"Yeah, I thought I told you!"

"No, you never said anything to me. How long have you known about it?"

"About a month."

Wonderful. She's known about this party that we just HAVE to go to a month and springs it on me an hour before it's supposed to start.

"Is it a costume party?"

"Of course it it, silly, it's Halloween!"

"Do you have a costume?

"No, you were supposed to come up with the idea for costumes..."

I'm not in the mood for an argument, but how the fuck was I supposed to come up with ideas for costumes when she never fucking told me about the party in the first place? And now somehow it's my fault and I must now come up with the prize-winning costume in sixty minutes. I work well under pressure so the idea came quick and hit me like a bolt from the blue. I make a quick U-turn and head back to my apartment. I still had a whole lot of shit from the army still laying around and if I could find all the things I needed in my old duffle bag my idea would be a hoot. We might not win any prizes, but we'll definitely get a laugh or two. Especially with a bunch of doctors and nurses.

We get to my place and we rush up stairs. I pull the old duffle out of the closet and dump the contents out on the bed. I start digging and in a few minutes I have all the parts to make it come together... I gave her a woodland cammo BDU top and my old 'boonie' hat, I don a plain white t-shirt, woodland cammo BDU pants and combat boots which I promptly bloused airborne fashion. We jump back into my Bronco and head to the party, which was at some doctor's house out on the Main Line somewhere...

I'm going "Uptown" for this little shindig.

I find the house off of Cheltenham Avenue and find a parking space. My 1987' Ford Bronco, only four years old still definitely looks out of place among all the brand new BMW's, Mecedes and lexus'... We walk in and are an immediate hit.

What were we?
Are you ready?

"Upper and Lower GI"...

Happy Halloween!

Copyright 2005 Thomas J Wolfenden