Monday, October 31, 2005


I don't have any recent Halloween stories to relate today. There was some frat parties over the weekend and I saw some, shall we say interesting and unique costumes here in town, but really nothing to write about.

This happened quite a few years ago, I'm guessing around 1991 or 92'. I was still dating that nurse at the U of P hospital and Halloween weekend was just another weekend for us, or so I thought. I picked her up at her place for our usual Saturday date when she dropped the bomb on me.

"We've got to go the the ER's Halloween party tonight!"


"Yeah, I thought I told you!"

"No, you never said anything to me. How long have you known about it?"

"About a month."

Wonderful. She's known about this party that we just HAVE to go to a month and springs it on me an hour before it's supposed to start.

"Is it a costume party?"

"Of course it it, silly, it's Halloween!"

"Do you have a costume?

"No, you were supposed to come up with the idea for costumes..."

I'm not in the mood for an argument, but how the fuck was I supposed to come up with ideas for costumes when she never fucking told me about the party in the first place? And now somehow it's my fault and I must now come up with the prize-winning costume in sixty minutes. I work well under pressure so the idea came quick and hit me like a bolt from the blue. I make a quick U-turn and head back to my apartment. I still had a whole lot of shit from the army still laying around and if I could find all the things I needed in my old duffle bag my idea would be a hoot. We might not win any prizes, but we'll definitely get a laugh or two. Especially with a bunch of doctors and nurses.

We get to my place and we rush up stairs. I pull the old duffle out of the closet and dump the contents out on the bed. I start digging and in a few minutes I have all the parts to make it come together... I gave her a woodland cammo BDU top and my old 'boonie' hat, I don a plain white t-shirt, woodland cammo BDU pants and combat boots which I promptly bloused airborne fashion. We jump back into my Bronco and head to the party, which was at some doctor's house out on the Main Line somewhere...

I'm going "Uptown" for this little shindig.

I find the house off of Cheltenham Avenue and find a parking space. My 1987' Ford Bronco, only four years old still definitely looks out of place among all the brand new BMW's, Mecedes and lexus'... We walk in and are an immediate hit.

What were we?
Are you ready?

"Upper and Lower GI"...

Happy Halloween!

Copyright 2005 Thomas J Wolfenden


Courtney said...

That's awesome! Very creative :)

Lisa said...

That is too funny. Great idea!

I saw that you read my post today... And to let you know... We got a lawyer three days after that happened. I think he had bigger cases and kept putting our off because he'd only get 5-10,000 out of it if we won. Which, at the time, at least, was a sure-thing.

I never noticed the baby picture is of a baby giving the camera the finger.... That's something my kid would have done at that age. (We have ultrasound pics of the kid playing with his wiener and giving us "the bird." :-)

Anonymous said...

Cute and v. creative costumes. hope you gave it to her later for not telling you about the party

Ranger Tom said...

Cortney: It was one of my better ideas

Lisa: Another reason why I don't like lawyers... I hurt just reading your story...

Golightly: We weren't together much longer after that anyway, she dumped me for one of the trauma doctors...

Airforce Guy said...


Mushy said...

That was some quick and good thinking my friend!

Good post...if you hadn't posted it again I would have missed it. Thanks.