Saturday, October 01, 2005

When in Rome...

It never ceases to amaze me how stupid we are as a Country. The people that is. And it's because of that ignorance that most people in other countries don't really like us all that much.

Last night at work I heard a little sound-bite on the radio from someone who was getting arrested in Mexico for some reason or another. It's really not important as to the reason he was getting locked up to what I'm saying here, but what does need to be addressed is what he said...

"You can't do this! I'm an American!!!"

Shut the fuck up already and I'll give you a little nugget of information you might just find a tad bit enlightening in your little lump of shit you call a brain.

You are not in America anymore, are you asshole?

Alright. We here in the States have it pretty good. We've got the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, separation of Church and State and all that other good and nifty shit. And Cindy Sheehan can take a flying fuck through a rolling donut, America is worth fighting and dying for and I think it's a pretty nifty place to live.

But...

When you leave the country, all those nifty things I've carefully listed above we here in the US take for granted stays here!

All that shit about your constitutional rights stops at the fucking border, and the sooner we all realize this people all over the world will maybe stop hating us so much.

Ok, here's my list of places that the Constitution is in force and useful to Americans concerning their rights:

1) Inside the contiguous United States, including the District of Columbia

2) Alaska and Hawaii

3) US Territories and possessions ( Guam, Midway Island, Puerto Rico, US Virgin Islands, etc.)

4) US Embassies and Consulates

5) US flagged ships

6) Permenant US Military instalations (the airfield on Deago Garcia, Guantanimo Bay, etc)

End of fucking list. Not Canada, not Mexico... Not anywhere else!

Get locked up in the UK and don't like what's happening? Tough shit. The Constitution can't fucking help you. It doesn't stay attached to you like some invisible inoculation.

When I was in Germany back in the 80's I was called one night to pick up a fellow soldier who was picked up by the Politzi after tearing up a Gasthous in a drunken brawl. The first thing the soldier said to me when I walked into the jail was this:

"Sarge! I'm so glad you're here! Tell these Krauts they can't do this! I'm an American!"

I looked at the soldier, then at the police officer. I turned back to the soldier at that point and said...

"Well, numbnuts. That's swell. You're an American. But let me ask you this. Where are you right now?"

"I'm in West Germany, sergeant."

"Very good private. You're in Germany. And do you know what that means?"

"What's that sarge?"

"You're NOT in America anymore!"

I turned to the Unteroffizer in charge and told him he could keep him for the charges. Now the dumbass had to face not only German civil law, but faced an Article 15 or possibly a Courts Martial from the Army.

It just pissed me off that so many people just don't get that basic concept.

I'm going to write a small handbook that should go with every new passport issued for Americans who would like to travel overseas.

"Ranger Tom's Short List concerning The Constitution And Bill of Rights When traveling Overseas..."

Rule Number one (1) You are no longer in the United States. Deal with it.

Rule Number two (2) There is no rule number two (2) please see rule number one (1)

If we all as a people would grasp this simple fact of life, maybe we would get along just a little bit better in the world.

If not, we'll just carpet-bomb you all back into the stone age.

Copyright 2005 Thomas J Wolfenden

7 comments:

Lindsey said...

It's people like that, that give the rest of us a bad name. People in other countries already hate us...this just makes it worse.

Courtney said...

You make some good points here...will have to remember this when/if I ever leave the country :)

Bev said...

This why I don't travel anywhere except within the U.S.

zoomie said...

Spent a lot of time in Europe and Asia on business. You could always spot the Americans in the crowd. they were the loud ones who acted like they were in Disneyworld. "Oh! Loot at those people! Isn't that so-o-o-o cute! And look at that quaint old house - like right out of the movies! Bob, let's take apicture of them!" Lady, that's how they live, and that's their home, for God's sake.

My co-workers and I used to refer to these dolts as the Dip(shit)lomats. I swear, I wanted to walk up to these people, smack them across the face, take their passports and tell them to go the f*ck home, because they were an embarrassment to our country.

Kev said...

It's that pesky 82% of Americans that give the rest of us such a bad name.

Ranger Tom said...

Kev, that leaves us, the other 17% to arm ourselves and kill them before they really fuck it up for us.

Kev said...

We're short 1%, Tom. 82 + 17 does not equal 100.

Oh, wait, you're the one who knows how to shoot. Umm ...

Yeah, damn right, Tom!