Thursday, October 27, 2005

Cranial Vomit

I took a "Mental Health" day Tuesday night. I got up with the alarm at 8:30 PM, stumbled to the bathroom, looked in the mirror and said fuck it, I'm not going in tonight. I need a night off just to sleep. So I crawled back into bed and slept another ten hours. God that felt good!

Luckily I pretty much make my own hours, and as long as I have the weekends covered my boss is ok with it. It had been one of those weeks where I was just mentally drained and the weather didn't help any either. It went from being in the high 70's on Friday to below freezing and snowing from Monday into yesterday. I wasn't ready for it so I just burrowed down into bed and shut it out for a day. In essence, the weather was a mirror to my mood.

Wednesday was fairly productive though and I did manage to get some things done. It was still pretty miserable in the morning and stumbling around my kitchen making a pot of coffee I decided I was going to make a big batch of chili and cornbread for dinner. I had all the fixings except for enough ground beef, so a trip to the Allen's in Princeton was on the agenda. Kat had given me her recipe for chili which sounded good, but couldn't find where I had put it so I resorted to the pre-packaged Carroll Shelby mix I had bought a few months ago. I might as well use it lest it rot on my shelf. It turned out pretty good anyway, but I'm going to have to get Kat to give the recipe to me again. I'd prefer home-made opposed to pre-packaged any day.

But first I did some housekeeping, vacuumed, did the dishes and went to the laundromat with a few loads of wash. I'm still wishing for a washer/dryer combo... I'd kill for those. I absolutely hate going to the laundromat. It never fails, every time I go to the one here in town, some college kid has every damn machine taken up with his entire wardrobe... Either I have to wait for a washer or wait for a dryer. I have two damn loads, one whites, one colors... And YES, I do separate them. I'm very domesticated. I'm Tommy-Fucking- Homemaker with a Goddamn attitude. So here I am at the laundromat and this kid has just about moved in to the place. He's even got the one folding table taken up with looks to be about a year's worth of homework... I ask him politely if he would mind giving up a three foot section so I can fold my wash... I get the sigh and the rolling eyes... I could have gladly throttled him then. Fucking little jerkoff. I'm so fucking sorry, I didn't realize it was your day to use these machines... If you wouldn't wait until every last stich of fucking clothing you own is dirty before washing them, maybe you wouldn't need the whole Goddamn place!

Prick...

So, anyway...

I get that done, all my other chores are done... And I'm in kind of a bluesy and nostalgic mood so I set up a playlist on my Realplayer with some old Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, The Who, BB King and Robin Trower and get to cookin'! Soon my place is smelling pretty good... (not that it smelled bad to begin with) Chili simmering in the pot, cornbread in the oven... I really enjoy to cook... It's relaxing, just sucks sometimes not being able to share it...

So I'm doing my thing in the kitchen, Mick is singing that they'll never make a Saint of Him... I'm contemplating going back to the laundromat to kick the living shit out of a little college punk... Everything is right in RT's world. Just as my supper is just about done I hear a knock on my door, it's my buddy from the FD. So I invite him in and tell him to pull up a chair for dinner. We nosh and bullshit and generally have a good time swapping stories, discuss Thursday's meeting at the FD, shit like that. He then brings up that Wednesday nights at the Holiday Inn in Bluefield is comedy night and that some night a bunch of us from the FD might make a night of it. Sounds good, count me in. He also tells me they have an "open mike" session before the regular stand-ups start...

Hmmm...

That got me thinking.

Open mike time. Where any aspiring stand up comic can do his shtick. I know this might come as a surprise to a lot of you, but four years straight I was voted "Class Clown" in school. Really! And I can't count how many people have told me in the past I should get into stand up comedy. Lord knows I've got enough material. I'm still not sure though. Even though all those years of testifying in court I still hate public speaking. I had a real bad stuttering problem as a child and it comes out even now when I'm upset or nervous, so I may have to think about it a while longer. Who knows? I might wind up being the next Denis Leary. Obviously I can't demonstrate here but I also can do accents really good. My British, Irish and German accents are perfect, and I have most US dialects down pretty good, but my Scottish accent leaves a lot to be desired.

Oh, and I did go between my trips to Allen's and the laundromat to the hospital in Princeton to talk to a social worker about the thing on my arm and they sent me to Mercer Health Right in Green Valley. It's free clinic for those who don't have insurance. I went there and had to fill out reams of paperwork and set an appointment for the doctor. I've got one next Thursday, so I will have it seen to next week. Only time will tell there also.

One last thing, looking at the clock and seeing it's after midnight and officially the 27th of October... In exactly two months I'll be hitting THE BIG FOUR-OH... Yes, I'll be forty... I don't have any plans, I'll probably spend it alone like I did last year...
I know, I lead such a terribly interesting life.

*Sigh*

Copyright 2005 Thomas J Wolfenden

16 comments:

Courtney said...

Ya know - the mental health day sounds enticing. I might take tomorrow off and have one of those! And screw being alone on your birthday. Go out and party!!!

Katie said...

go party..i did not on my b-day and i wish i had now...so go out drink a beer for me...

Cheryl said...

I need a mental health day. Or week. Actually if I weren't so practical, I'd be broke.

Kat_womanx2 said...

What a night...2 mva's, first one was pickup truck vs. pregnant horse. I swear I wish I could figure my blog page out..you guys would LOVE this shit!!! Tom..I wish you could have seen the trip sheet I wrote up on this one..you would be laying in the floor pissing yourself!! Oh, hell..I'll indulge everyone for the moment...

911 DISPATCH TO ODD ROAD (YES THIS IS THE REAL NAME OF THE ROAD) FOR MVA. CAR V/S HORSE. THE ABOVE NAMED PATIENT WAS THE RIDER OF THE HORSE. RIDING ALONG ROADWAY, HORSE BECAME SPOOKED AND TURNED INTO THE PATH OF ONCOMING PICKUP TRUCK. BOTH HORSE AND RIDER WERE STRUCK AND THROWN APPROX. 30 FEET TO THE ROADWAY. ONLY THE HORSE LOST CONSCIOUSNESS. UPON OUR ARRIVAL, BOTH PATIENT AND HORSE WERE STANDING IN A YARD. PATIENT IS APPARENT ETOH (DRUNK), AND HORSE SHOWS SIGNS OF A DISLOCATED LEFT SHOULDER, AND A 4" LACERATION TO THE MID CHEST AREA. PATIENT ADVISES HORSE IS ALSO PREGNANT. UPON EXAMINATION OF THE HORSES POSTERIOR, IT APPEARS THE PREGNANCY IS UNDISTURBED BY THE ACCIDENT. (HOWEVER,DUE TO FECAL MATERIAL IN THE ROADWAY ITS OBVIOUS THAT THE HORSE HAD THE CRAP KNOCKED OUT OF HER.) PATIENT HAS ABRASIONS TO LEFT SIDE OF FOREHEAD, UPON TRYING TO EXAMINE PATIENT PULLED AWAY AND REFUSED FURTHER TREATMENT. PATIENT ADVISED OF HIS RIGHTS AND SIGNED REFUSAL. EOC IS IN PROCESS OF TRYING TO CONTACT LARGE ANIMAL VET, HOWEVER THE HORSE WAS UNABLE TO SIGN HER REFUSAL. CLEARED CALL AND BACK IN SERVICE AT 1834.

Ranger Tom said...

Courtney & Cheryl: The term "Mental Health Day" was coined by my brother who was also a cop. We used the term liberally whenever we were just sick of it all and would call out of work and head out to Barnegate, NJ for a little surf fishing..."Sick Days" are for fun, taking off to do what you want to do... I'm a firm believer in if I'm really sick, I go to work anyway. Sort of spread the wealth. If I'm sick and miserable, everyone's going to be sick and miserable!

Katie: I'll do that, but I've got to tell you I don't drink anywhere near the way I used to drink. The last six-pack I bought lasted me eight weeks or so... But I'll try to have a good time and have one for you...

Kat: Now there's a new one. Never in ten years did I see an MVA car vs. horse... I especially like the way you worded your paperwork... 'Had the crap knocked out of her...' Too damn funny! You're right, I would have been pissing myself laughing! Sounds like what I would have done. I had a jumper once, 14 stories down to the pavement, splat! I wrote in the box 'Cause of Death' "Victim died from complications of Decelleration sickness and asphalt poisoning..."

Cop~EMS humor....

Lora said...

Well, that was a healthful purge, Tom. That and going back to bed for more sleep sound like just what you needed.

As for the comedy club: I think you'd be great! As they say, "You'd kill!"

Bev said...

There's nothing like a bowl of chili and a side of cornbread to warm you heart and soul.

honkeie2 said...

what a great exscuse to party till the cows come home and then party with them lol
---attempt 3 on the word thingie---

Kev said...

What-say we all come down and party with you, Tom?

(But you cook ...)

cmk said...

I used to let my girls have a "Mental Health Day" once a school year. Figured it would do them good. What a mother I was--in more ways than one? :)

Ranger Tom said...

Lora: I really needed it

Bev: It was a perfect day for
chili!

Honkeie: I can't party like that anymore

Kev: Ok... Hot dogs on the grill for everybody!

cmk: I love mental health days. Nothing works better for a quick re-charge of the batteries

Katie said...

I dont drink much...i will have like 3 or 4 then i'm threw....lol...so i know how it is....well have fun any way if you don't drink.....

Airforce Guy said...

ur not old Tommy! An I still might be there 4 ur b-day! Kat that is one funny story! ur just like Tom i bet u got plenty of funny storys like that one!

Ranger Tom said...

Katie: I'll try to!

Randy: Yes I am old you little shit!

Becky said...

You know, in Kentucky, riding a horse drunk can be prosecuted as a DUI. No kidding.

Ranger Tom said...

Becky: It's the same in Arizona...