I wasn't going to write this or post it at all but since I started this blog as my own way of therapy in getting over my divorce and discovering the new Ranger Tom I think it's appropriate. Through this outlet I've found a wonderful way of letting my feelings out and letting the bitterness slowly fade. I've been able to be the real me for once in my life, not putting up any walls or defenses, not listening to anyone's unsolicited advice, or putting up a facade.
You got to see the real me, warts and all...
And it was liberating.
And with this new found liberation I was able to really go forward with my dream of becoming a railroad engineer. Without you all I most probably have "settled" over a year and a half ago and taken the job as town cop in Athens, WV like everyone there was begging me to do... And spiraled down into my old miserable self that I had grown to loathe.
So for this, my dear readers I thank you from the bottom of my heart for giving me that kick-start of confidence I had been missing all those years, and finally did something about my dream.
Here's where my apology to you ladies comes in.
Over the last several weeks I've been getting emails from my readers. I'm not going to mention any names, but several are from people who have been with me from almost the very beginning and have almost grown to know me like family. I've been told I was their cup of coffee in the morning.
These emails have been asking me where I've been, that sort of thing, they miss me... That was the nice part... They also went on to tell me I've somehow changed, I'm not the same RT they've grown to know... Somehow I've been holding back.
And I have.
Ironic how people who don't even know me see right through me sometimes.
"Hey RT, how come you don't post on my blog anymore? I miss your comments!!!"
Well, because that even though the majority of my readers are women, I didn't plan it out to be that way. I didn't care if anyone ever read any of my shit. Even though most of you are women, I've never once hit on any one of you... Sent you suggestive emails or anything of that nature. Beyond the flirty or racy comments here and there, they were all harmless. Most of you are married or in long-term relationships and I've said a thousand times I don't hit on women who are already taken... And you all knew that.
Every one of you can attest to that.
Recently I've become stifled to the point of stagnation because the woman I'm seeing can't or won't see it that way.
When the person reads my reader's comments they then must go onto their blog in turn to read what I've written I'd get:
"What did you mean by what you said on such and such's blog?" or "Why did you say that on whosiface's blog...?"
What the ever loving FUCK!
So for the last several weeks I've just not been posting a lot and not even commenting on your blogs and for this I'm sorry.
I'm not going to watch what I say anymore, nor will I stifle my own dreams or let me be drawn into someone else's dreams or ideas of what my happiness should be, and how could I not be happy if I don't fit into her little idea of utopia with it's time-lines and rigid geographical boundaries.
I could go on but I won't. I'm physically and emotionally drained at this point, but again, my dear readers who just happen to have ovaries, please accept my deepest apologies for my absence.
The old new Ranger Tom is back!
Copyright 2006 Thomas J Wolfenden