1) People who are actually upset that they have to go to work right after they punch the time clock.
God forbid one should actually have to work when they're at work, on the clock! I know it's a stretch, but here's a unique concept: You punch in, you go to work. You punch out, you go home and lounge around. Eight hours' work, eight hours' pay.
These are the same people who work harder at getting out of work that actually doing their job to begin with... Usually pawning it off to someone else.
I say shut the fuck up, do your fucking job and quit your fucking whining.
2) People who work night shift and come into work at say "Boy am I tired!" Shut the fuck up already.
How about getting to sleep when you're at home and not stay up all day. I worked with a guy a few years ago on night shift... He'd go home, stay up all day in an empty house when his wife was at work and his kids were in school. He wouldn't get to bed until after the wife and kids were home and complain almost every night how tired he was.
You fucking dolt.
Did you really believe you were going to get a restful evening of sleep with 3 boys, ages 6, 9 and 12 running around the house?
Sleep when the damn house is empty, dumbass.
3) People who say "Un-Thaw" Now in my mind, "Un" means the opposite. So if you want me to un-thaw something, you want me to freeze it. To thaw something out is to let in "un-freeze"...
So if you ask me to un-thaw that steak, I'll put it back into the freezer.
I was dating a woman a while back in West Virginia. She left a note for me in the kitchen one morning: "Tommy, there's some chicken in the fridge... Un-thaw it for me will you?" So I put it back in the freezer.
Good = Good, Ungood = Bad.
Thaw = Melt, Unthaw = Freeze.
Am I wrong here?
4) People who say "Hamburger meat". There ain't no such thing. I've never met a guy who said he was a Hamburger Rancher.
It's ground beef, moron. Or ground pork or ground turkey. Got it?
5) People who misuse the apostrophe. Like this: (I've actually seen this printed on menus) Hamburger's $5, Cheeseburger's $6, Hot Dog's $2.
What the fuck! It's basic second grade English.
One day while I was still living in Arizona I noticed a hand-painted sign on a power pole on the road to my house. it read:
Puppy's 4 Sale
I couldn't resist. I got my cell phone out and called the number. When the person answered I asked them what the puppies had for sale. They didn't get it.
If you cant distinguish the difference between the use of 's or ies, you've got no damn business writing anything at all, especially on signage people will see.
I expect misspellings on Chinese Restaurant menus, but not people educated here. No wonder everyone else in the world thinks we're all a bunch of morons.
Learn basic English and learn to spell (or at least use spell-check) before you decide to print out a sign and post it somewhere...This is a sign (I shit you not) I saw at a coal mine I worked at briefly in Raven, Virgina:
I haven't had a good rant like this in a while... I needed that! I'll have a drink now.
Copyright 2009 Thomas J Wolfenden