Saturday, July 22, 2006

Back in boots, an update long overdue

Ok, so I'm more that a year overdue in posting an update to a post I wrote... So sue me.
About a year and a half ago I decided to re-enlist into the West Virginia Army National Guard and a few people have written me on several occasions asking what had ever happened to that whole thing...
Here it is in a nutshell.
I did enlist, was sworn in and everything. I passed the physical (which kind of shocked me) and everything. But there was a problem. Apparently at the time I was 39 1/2 years old and new Army regulations had just come down from the Pentagon for prior service renlistments so I was required to take another physical... A more "detailed" exam.
This physical I failed. Apparently I've got arthritis in my knees and the Army didn't want to take any chances so they failed me.
To tell you the truth, at this point in dealing with the Army I wasn't too disappointed. Firstly, since I had been out of the Army for almost seventeen years the recruiter started to bring up that I might loose three pay grades... From E-5 sergeant to E-2 Private... Oh, that would go over real well. And I might have to take basic training over again... That would definitely not go over... Can you picture what would happen the very first time some twenty year-old sergeant got in my face?
sergeant: "You shitbird! I'm gonna rip you a new asshole!"
Me: "Oh really now? Listen you little fuck, I was doing this shit when you were still gestating..."
And off I'd go to Ft. Leavenworth, Kansas where they still make little rocks out of big rocks. And I hate Kansas.
So discretion being the better part of valor, I decided it was best for myself and the Army if I stayed out. Especially when I started hearing stories from friends who were in the Army now... And It has changed so much I don't think this old dinosaur of a soldier could handle the changes. Or would today's Army be able to handle this old dinosaur?
That's the story.
Some other very good things are happening also and I'll let you all in on those after the first of August.
Copyright 2006 Thomas J Wolfenden

1 comment:

Leazwell said...

Ha, the same reason I didn't teach in public schools. Even my students at private said I'd get fired in short time - within the first week. Then there is the assault charge because I don't think I could have resisted slapping some smart ass.