Sunday, July 16, 2006

It's NOT a damn wet-T-shirt contest!

I've gotten a few emails deriding me for promoting a wet t-shirt contest... And it's not, damnit!
I'm 40 years old. I stopped going to titty bars a long time ago. Wet t-shirt contests are for drunk college kids on a weekend bender in Daytona Beach. I am not a drunk college kid.
What started out as a joke Red made in a comment snowballed into people thinking it was a wet t-shirt contest. That's not what I meant by a 'creative' photograph. What I meant was something funny like sitting on a horse backwards or wearing a huge sombrero holding a giant burrito... Or standing by a local oddity like if you live in a town that has the claim to fame being it possesses the world's largest ball of twine or a giant concrete chicken or has a tupee museum...
Like I said. I'm 40 years old. I've seen more than my fair share of tits in my life, up close and personal. I don't need to shell out $100 to see any now. If you really must, I'm not going to argue about it... But that's not what I was after.
Four people have ordered t-shirts this week (and the person who ordered one Thursday, it was shipped yesterday) So I'm looking forward to your entries... But don't feel you have to get wet... Be funny! That's what I'm all about anyway, making people laugh, not getting a cheap thrill.
So hurry up and order your I HEART Ranger Tom T-shirt today and lets have some fun with it... Who knows, we may just start a fashion trend. God knows it's got to be better that those moronic "Pedro" shirts from a year or so ago.
Contest deadline is August 31st, so hurry!
Copyright 2006 Thomas J Wolfenden

12 comments:

cmk said...

Oh, my, did I start something when I mentioned wet T-shirt? You got EMAILS? I guess my sense of humor just doesn't come through in the written word. I just thought it was a funny concept with Red being pregnant and all...:)

Ranger Tom said...

cmk: I don't think you started it, it just kind of snowballed... And it's funny how the negative comments always seem to come in 'anonymous' emails... And BTW, the "Red" who made the initial comment about the t-shirt in the shower is a completely different "Red" than the "Red" From the "One Red Opinion" Blog... So are you going to enter the contest or have yyou already ordered your t-shirt?

Red said...

I figured a funny thing would be to wear the shirt while trying to pick the nose of a stuffed buffalo head like you did in one of your pics.. Unfortunately, seeing as how I will have just had the baby, I think I'm going to shy away from pictures of myself..

Boy, Red and I sure can cause confusion.. She blogs at the cupcake tent for those who haven't already checked her out.. She's hilarious!!

Best wishes to everyone who does enter! I'll talk to you all when I get back..

Kat_womanx2 said...

Another "hear what I mean...not what I say" moment for sure...

Lisa said...

That is so funny. I live 40 minutes from the world's largest katsup bottle sign. Does that work? heehehee

cmk said...

DAMN...and I thought I FINALLY was able to tell those two Reds apart! I'm thinking about entering the contest, but my idea just wouldn't fly: my cat REFUSES to wear clothes! (check out stuffonmycat.com to see what I'm referencing!)

cantellya said...

Can anyone loan me 20 bucks?

There you go again RT, stirrin' up poop! J/K
How about if you send me a T-shirt, and I'll switch it with the flag on top of the pole at the police station, and you can send me a check for $80 (minus the $20 cost) and I can use the rest for bail!
(For anyone thinking I'm serious, relax. I'm jesting)

Sherri said...

Finally, inspiration, I now know what kind of picture I want to submit! (and, no, it's not going to be a wet tshirt picture. LOL!!)

My town does have one claim to fame!

The Ramblin Hillbilly said...

RT you big perv, you know you secretly hoped it would turn into a wet t-shirt contest so don't even try to deny it.

Your bud
The Ramblin Hillbilly

Leazwell said...

Me thinks he protest too much...:}

Have fun this week on the job!

Becky said...

People thought that was serious? Yikes!

Ranger Tom said...

Red: We'll have to start calling you "Red #1" and "Red #2" to ease the confusion... And no worries, good luck on the delivery and we'll see you when you get back!

Kat: It is, isn't it? It's almost like I'm still dealing with my ex sometimes... Hearing what I said but never listening...

Lisa: The world's largest Katsup bottle would most definately qualify! Look forward to your entry!

Cmk: Sorry, I don't offer cat-sized t-shirt right now, but maybe in my fall collection...

Cant: That's a great idea!

Sherri: I can't wait to see it!

Bill: That's not true! But if you send me a picture of you in a wet t-shirt I'll most definately blow chunks.

Leazwell: Nah, I'm not protesting too much... I never said I wouldn't mind seeing a few wet ones, but I wasn't asking for it!

Becky: Welcome back! Where have you been? Anyway, it's just another one of those "It's not funny if I've got to explain it" times I get far too often.