Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Does a bear...

This past Saturday my fire department was called out to a brushfire and about twelve of us answered the call. Appalachian Power was doing some tree-trimming along a remote section along a powerline. A tree they were felling hit the wires, arced and started a fire in the dry grass that quickly spread. By the time we all had arrived it had engulfed about ten acres and threatened several more.
We cut a fire-line around the entire area of about fifteen acres and this took about three hours. After we were finished with that chore, before we started a back-burn to contain the rest, on of the other members of our fire department, who we now call Baby Bear, needed to make a restroom break...
Of course we were out in the middle of the woods, and there's no restrooms there...
Those of you who are like me and camp, hunt, fish and hike and just love being in the wilderness have had to do this from time to time, so it's really no big deal.
That is unless you're with a bunch of demented fuckers like us on the volunteer fire department.
Rules to live by when making a BM with us:
1) Go a lot more than TEN FEET off the trail
2) Make sure the tree you're hiding behind is thicker than a fence post
3) Make sure you're far enough away from the rest of the crew
4) Make sure that no one on your crew has a picture phone with them...
So does Baby Bear shit in the woods?
Of course! And we've got photographic evidence!!!
I've spared you all that sight, but god it was funny!
I'm really in with a good bunch of guys (and girls) with this department, and they're just as warped as me. I'm fitting in here! I've made a really good decision joining this department. They're like family to me. I really haven't felt this close to a group of people since my days on the police department.
Copyright 2006 Thomas J Wolfenden

7 comments:

Sherri said...

oh, that's too funny! :D

Working with a great group makes all the difference in the world.

honkeie2 said...

maybe i am just sick but i was kinda hoping to see the picture haha.

tsduff said...

2) Make sure the tree you're hiding behind is thicker than a fence post

Ha ha ha ha I loved this! How embarrassing for the unlucky "bear"...

Reminds me of the time when after Thanksgiving, we were driving through a snowed-in pass out of Tahoe to go home to the Bay Area. Traffic was stopped dead on the highway for more than two hours, and of course there was no place off the road which was shielded by anything at all. Now I will hold my breath and my eyes turn yellow before I'll subject myself to the embarrassment of public scrutiny, but there comes a time when there is just no help for it. I clampered out of the car, trudged through thigh-deep snow in full view of the miles long string of motionless cars, and hid myself behind a snow drift. Trying desperately to make sure I wasn't showing anywhere, I assumed the position, hoping the yellow snow didn't spread to my jeans and shoes which were completely out of sight in the snow beneath me. I don't know if I was completely hidden, don't know what folks were sniggering in the warmth of their cars.... to this day I just remember the RELIEF of my pain being gone! Nobody had a cell phone camera that I am aware of... thank goodness!

Cheryl said...

Aw, poor bear. Better be nice to whoever has the pictures...

Miss Fire said...

I'm sick too. I wanna see the bear picture!

The Ramblin Hillbilly said...

OMG that is too funny. I wish I could have been there

Da Gal said...

that is excellent.... reminds me of a time I was in the woods with the moose... thank good moose can't talk to anyone!!!