So last night I get to work and begin my patrol. Everything is ok up until I finish at 11 PM at the Deli Mart and I'm sitting in the truck doing some paperwork (crosswords) and this Subaru pulls into the Deli's parking lot. I'm not to surprised at this because there's a few soda machines outside and many times people pull up to get a Coke or Pepsi in the middle of the night.
Until this woman gets out and storms right over to my truck. I roll down the window and ask if I could help her with anything.
"It's your fault!!" She screams. She then goes on at length telling me her husband has worked for the same company as I do for quite a few years, and I come along and they fire him...
OK, I get it. It's Barney's wife.
Throughout this whole diatribe I look at her deadpan waiting for her to finish her raving. After she finished and wipes the spittle from her mouth she looks at me with a "So what have you got to say for yourself now, smartypants?" look. I toss my paperwork (crossword) onto the dash and ask:
"Let me get this perfectly clear. Your husband wrecked a coal mine truck, and through his own stupidity never told anyone about it, and in doing so got himself fired. And this is all somehow my fault?"
"His stupidity is MY fault?"
"No Ma'am. His stupidity is the product of generations of inbreeding."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"You, you butthole!" (Yes, she actually called me a butthole)
"There, you feel better now?"
With a final 'humf!" she stormed off and drove away leaving me wondering where the Mothership was tonight and why didn't it just come and beam these nutcases up and take them back to the home planet.
It was all my fault though. She must have been talking to my ex-wife. And speaking of my psychotic ex-wife, don't you all find it really ironic that the woman who told me over two years ago that nothing I said mattered and didn't want to have anything to do with me ever again continues to this day to read this blog several times a day? (thirteen times yesterday alone) That somehow what I've got to say now is important?
I guess the grass isn't really greener on the other side now is it? Your faggot cowboy boyfriend is leaching off you like all cowboys will do? He was just looking for a mommy and someone to take care of him?
You made your bed, you lie in it.
I'm happier now alone that I ever was with her. And I'm thinking of myself for a change. I sleep very well and can look myself in the mirror and hold my head high because I don't have her dragging me down anymore.
And if it's any consolation, that most definitely is my fault.
Copyright 2006 Thomas J Wolfenden