There's a lot of bad habits people have, some annoying, some downright disgusting. This is about the latter. I had a conversation with a close friend about this very subject last week and last night something happened that reminded me of it.
I smoke cigarettes. I know it's a bad habit and I'm really trying to cut down. I've quit several times in the past and I'll probably quit again. Maybe that time will be the last. Who knows?
But I'm the type of smoker who doesn't do it around people who don't, I won't light up in your car or house, I don't need to be seated in the smoking section of a restaurant. I can wait... It's not going to kill me if I don't fire up that very minute. I'll have you know that in August of last year I was stuck on the ramp of the airport in Atlanta for several hours and I was ok without a smoke. Still a lot of people are put off by it and I understand so I don't do it around them.
But I do have to say this now. Those in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.
I was approached last night by a woman who had a dip in her mouth, and this woman had the nerve to tell me my smoking was disgusting...
For those of you unfamiliar with 'dip', it's snuff, or smokeless tobacco. Those little round cans of Copenhagen or the like you see in every other person's back pocket.
This woman, while telling me my smoking was gross, continued to spit into a Pepsi bottle half-full with brownish shit-colored tobacco spit...
And I'm the one who's gross?
To me, there's nothing more disgusting than bottles and cups filled with spit laying all over the place. Most of my friends here dip or chew tobacco and I really have no problem with it really if they keep the spitting to themselves, but they keep leaving their spit bottles all over. A few weeks ago when I was at the fire house I picked up and threw out seven bottles of spit that were just laying around... On the edge of the pool table, on the desk in the office, in the shitter. Then, when we got a call, I jumped into Truck 9 and sat on a bottle completely full of dip spit... It's a really good thing it was capped or I'd have pitched a fit.
A few weeks ago a guy pulled into the Deli Mart to get gas and proceeded to pour out his spit bottle on the pavement. It was so gross I started to gag.
Ok. So smoking is a disgusting habit and I'll probably die at some point of lung cancer. But what's more disgusting though? Lighting up once in a while or having a huge wad of slimy brown shit in your mouth, getting stuck between your teeth and spiting all over the place? Oh yeah, lady. That shit in your mouth really makes me want to kiss you...
So I'll probably be on oxygen one day, and as I pass you on the street carrying my little green O2 bottle and my nasal cannula, don't be surprised at my stare at the gaping hole in your face where your jaw used to be.
Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.
Copyright 2006 Thomas J Wolfenden