Thursday, March 30, 2006

A matter of perspective

There's a lot of bad habits people have, some annoying, some downright disgusting. This is about the latter. I had a conversation with a close friend about this very subject last week and last night something happened that reminded me of it.
I smoke cigarettes. I know it's a bad habit and I'm really trying to cut down. I've quit several times in the past and I'll probably quit again. Maybe that time will be the last. Who knows?
But I'm the type of smoker who doesn't do it around people who don't, I won't light up in your car or house, I don't need to be seated in the smoking section of a restaurant. I can wait... It's not going to kill me if I don't fire up that very minute. I'll have you know that in August of last year I was stuck on the ramp of the airport in Atlanta for several hours and I was ok without a smoke. Still a lot of people are put off by it and I understand so I don't do it around them.
But I do have to say this now. Those in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.
I was approached last night by a woman who had a dip in her mouth, and this woman had the nerve to tell me my smoking was disgusting...
For those of you unfamiliar with 'dip', it's snuff, or smokeless tobacco. Those little round cans of Copenhagen or the like you see in every other person's back pocket.
This woman, while telling me my smoking was gross, continued to spit into a Pepsi bottle half-full with brownish shit-colored tobacco spit...
And I'm the one who's gross?
To me, there's nothing more disgusting than bottles and cups filled with spit laying all over the place. Most of my friends here dip or chew tobacco and I really have no problem with it really if they keep the spitting to themselves, but they keep leaving their spit bottles all over. A few weeks ago when I was at the fire house I picked up and threw out seven bottles of spit that were just laying around... On the edge of the pool table, on the desk in the office, in the shitter. Then, when we got a call, I jumped into Truck 9 and sat on a bottle completely full of dip spit... It's a really good thing it was capped or I'd have pitched a fit.
A few weeks ago a guy pulled into the Deli Mart to get gas and proceeded to pour out his spit bottle on the pavement. It was so gross I started to gag.
Ok. So smoking is a disgusting habit and I'll probably die at some point of lung cancer. But what's more disgusting though? Lighting up once in a while or having a huge wad of slimy brown shit in your mouth, getting stuck between your teeth and spiting all over the place? Oh yeah, lady. That shit in your mouth really makes me want to kiss you...
So I'll probably be on oxygen one day, and as I pass you on the street carrying my little green O2 bottle and my nasal cannula, don't be surprised at my stare at the gaping hole in your face where your jaw used to be.
Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.
Copyright 2006 Thomas J Wolfenden

12 comments:

cantellya said...

Your comment at my post made me laugh! Dammit!
You sound like a considerate smoker, where most people aren't. I'll have to agree that dip/spit cans are more disgusting. It amazes me she had the audacity to say something to YOU, meanwhile holding a nasty chunk in her mouth!

Kat_womanx2 said...

I also love the proper dipper...the one that has the iron stomach to swallow the nasty crap rather than put forth the effort to bottle it. I once vowed at a job place if I had to contend with the spit anymore..I was going to start leaving my used tampons around for them to move...

DivineMsN said...

Is she single? ;P

Red said...

That is really disgusting!! My husband and I both used to smoke. He always said that he'd quit when I did because whenever I'd try by myself, as soon as I'd run out I would smoke all of his. Then I finally quit and he started dipping. Ewww! I could smell it from across the room!

At least he had the decency to get a new paper spit cup everytime though. Still, I was certainly glad when he finally quit.

My dad, on the other hand, leaves them all over the place. If you looked at his house you'd think he had a different spit cup for every room. It's just a totally gross habit.

Sherri said...

Wow, I guess I should be lucky enough to not have to encounter this stuff!

It sounds absolutely horrible! Anytime you collect spit in anything, EWWWWWW!

Lisa said...

OH MY GOD. You have GOT to be kidding me! (Or shitting me! heehee) Chew is so disgusting. My hubby does it and yes, seeing that nasty stuff at the bottom of a glass is gross. It is no better than smoking.

It grosses me out that there are some women out there that do this.

Cheryl said...

While I think both are disgusting, I would much rather be around someone smoking a cigarette than chewing. Chewing is nasty.

Thank you for refraining from smoking around people who don't like it. I think that's awesome.

JLynn said...

I think it is disgusting as well. But, a story my husband told me always makes me laugh when I see someone chewing...
When my husband was about 8 or 9 he and his grandfather went to the grocery store to get brunsweiger (i don't know how that's spelled). My husband, Mike waited in the car while grandpa went in. Mike found his grandpa's chew and decided to see what it was like, so he took a dip and put it in his mouth, just when it was time to spit it out (cause it tasted nasty) his grandpa came out of the store - so he wouldn't get in trouble, he SWALLOWED it!! Then his grandpa asked if he wanted any brunsweiger....Mike turned all shades of green and can't look at either any more.

dasi said...

Once while working as a waitress at a restaurant/bar I was sitting in the break room, minding my own business, when one of the other waitresses asked me to grab her apron off the shelf. I pulled it down from my seated position, not knowing one of the bouncers had a FULL CUP OF SPIT sitting on top of it that toppled over and spilled all over my head. Once I finished gagging, and had gone home to shower (more than once) I seem to recall making contact with a sensitive part of his body with my knee upon my return...

tsduff said...

I'm afraid I've never heard the term "dipping" before now, although I am aware that folks chew tobacco... that is so gross! My Sweetie smokes, and being a hippie, natural kind of guy, he carefully puts out each cigarette, and places the butts in his jacket or jeans pocket until he can find a proper receptacle for it. He even is looking into patenting a "butt can" (a small portable tin in which to place random butts waiting for a later disposal...) A smoker can be considerate to the point of others not even knowing he is around, by stepping outside or around the corner, etc. Spitting into a jar is the one of the most vile things I've heard of yet. Yuck.

honkeie2 said...

Having spent many years in AL I know all about snuff and dip. I have even tried it and found it to be one of the foulest things to do.
One of my uncles fell asleep with his chaw still in his mouth and woke up gagging. He said and I quote, " Gawd it taste like sumun took a dump in ma mouth."
I love rednecks hahahhahaha

Bev said...

Both are gross, but I almost preferred that my high school boyfriend dipped rather than smoked. (He took turns with both, some parts of the year he was a smoker, the other times he was a dipper.) The way I saw it, when he was dipping it was only affecting his health not mine.