Saturday, November 26, 2005

Some people

Have some of the most amazing unmitigated gall I've ever seen. It's that or they're just plain fucking ignorant.
Probably both.
This morning around 3 am I was sitting in the patrol vehicle doing some paperwork (crossword) and a car drives in and parks about fifty feet from where I'm sitting. You can't miss me, the truck is big, red with big decals on the doors, it's running with the lights on. I'm not trying to hide.
I sit there a few minutes just to see what he's up to. He's not breaking the law, but at that time of night you never know what you're going to see. Apparently he's eating his after-bar snack from McDonald's. No biggie, so I go back to my crossword.
It was then I hear a paper cup hit the pavement. I look over and think "He really didn't do what I think he did, did he?"
Sure as shit he did. Got done his medium beverage and just threw the cup out the window.
What the fuck...
So now this little shit has got my interest piqued. I put down my paperwork (crossword) and look right at him. The way he's parked he has to see me. I sit there and watch him down two cheeseburgers, tossing each wrapper out the window as he finishes.
Now I'm getting pissed. Not just that he's littering so blatantly, but he's doing it right in front of me, and there's THREE Goddamn trashcans within feet of his parked vehicle. He's just munching away, oblivious to everything around him. The last straw was when he tossed his french fry carton out followed right after with the empty bag his meal came in.
I'm out of the truck in a flash and by his car looking right down on him. I shine my Maglight right in his face and ask;
"Just what the fuck do you think you're doing?"
"Hey man, I was eating supper!"
Get the fuck out of the car RIGHT FUCKING NOW and pick all this shit up!"
God, I was pissed.
"Hey man, I'll kick your ass!"
"Ok, pal. Do it."
I step back and let him stumble out. The look on his face was precious. I'm by no means a really big guy, but at 6' 2" and 210 pounds I'm by no means tiny either. Here this little fuck stood and looked waaaaay up to me. He couldn't have been taller than 5' tall and 100 pounds. The smell of stale beer followed him from the car. His tuned changed immediately.
I think he shit his pants when I told him;
"Get your skinny little mullet-headed redneck ass down and pick up all this shit you just threw on MY FUCKING PARKING LOT right FUCKIN NOW, or swear you will wake up in a few weeks with a whole now outlook on life!"
Like a bolt he was down picking all the trash up, and then when he was done I made him pick up a few other odds and ends lying around.
I really wouldn't have laid him out, it was just so much fun putting the Fear of Tom into him. I told him after he was finished to get lost and never let me see his sorry ass in Athens again.
It wasn't so much him littering that pissed me off, it was that he did it right in front of me in uniform that really sent me over the edge. To me it was a personal insult I just couldn't let slide. Not only that but I'm still not feeling all that great from a bug I caught over thanksgiving day and it only seemed to acerbate things.
There is a big littering problem here in West Virginia that should be addressed. But apparently some folks are getting their priorities mixed. What this guy did was totally unacceptable but it seems that nobody cares about this kind of littering, but up in Beckley, just last week they enacted a city ordinance and authorized the Beckley City Police to start "aggressively citing" people who toss cigarette butts out the windows. It's a $330 fine and points on one's license.
That's great and all, but when Raleigh County had the highest underage liquor sales percentage in the entire state (52% of all booze sales in the county are to minors) and nothing is really being done about it, I think priorities are somewhat misguided.
Don't throw your cigarette butts out the windows. DO NOT toss your garbage out into parking lots.
But please, oh please ENFORCE THE DAMN LIQUOR LAWS!
Yes I don't like to see litter on my streets, but I like it even less when I have to peel some seventeen year-old's brains off the pavement.
Ok, done my rant. Continue on with your day.
Copyright 2005 Thomas J Wolfenden

6 comments:

Lindsey said...

Intimidation..gotta love it. But what a little fucker for throwing his shit out of the window. That drives me crazy too.

Kat_womanx2 said...

AMEN !!!!!

berly02 said...

"the fear of Tom"
I like that.
And thanks for keeping America clean.

Courtney said...

Ya know - here in Texas there's an actual anti-litter commercial complete with a jingle entitled, "Don't Mess with Texas." I can't remember the words off hand, but I know there's an actual song on a commercial with a guy playing a guitar, and it's strictly devoted to the litter problem.
You guys need a WV commercial. It could be a rap or something:

Don't throw your trash out the winda

Not here in West Virginia

Keep your wrappers and your butts to yourself

No trash on the streets

'Cause it just isn't neat

It's ugly and it's bad for your health


OK, so it's not the best rap ever, but it's on pretty much the same level as the Don't Mess With Texas country song, right :)

Ranger Tom said...

Linny: It works sometimes. I learned it from the nuns who tormented me throughout grade school :)

Kat: Yep. Knew you'd agree with the second part too

Berly: I do my part, at least what I can.

Cortney: I really don't think the rap thing would go over too well here in WV... But nice effort!

Lisa said...

It reminds me of a story about a cop in East St. Louis. He passed 300 lb a black prostitude named "Baby" wearing some skimpy clothes. He said, (while in his police car during the day), "Hey Baby, why don't we go on a date, huh? Why don't you let me take you to Mc Donald's, ok? She said, "Sure" in a soft voice and got in. They drove passed the McD's and into the parking lot of the police dept and she started screaming and yelling at him.

A few days later, he happened upon her again on the same corner during the daytime hours. And he said, 'I'm really sorry about what I did the other day. But let me make it up to you. Why don't you let me take you to McDonald's for a sausage, egg and cheese buscuit?"

And she said, "Ok." in a soft voice. Again, they drove passed the McDonald's and then into the police dept and again, she started screaming and cursing at him.

Apparently, this happened at least once more.

I laughed my ass off when I heard that story...

I just thought you'd get a kick out of it too...