Wednesday, November 23, 2005

You'd think

That living all your life in Appalachia, one would know just a little bit about driving in winter weather.
But I could be wrong.
It was almost funny when you think about it. Tonight about six of us gravitated to the firehouse just to hang out. Drink coffee, watch movies in the TV room and shoot the shit. It wasn't planned, we all just showed up separately for the same reason. We've been having a round of wintry weather with temperatures in the teens, snow and freezing rain all day. We all decided by ourselves just to come into the station because we just knew some dumbass would wreck his car tonight. If nothing happened we'd just spend the evening watching movies.
We didn't get to watch a movie tonight.
Ranger Tom's short list of things to remember when driving in winter conditions:
1) You CANNOT drive 20 miles over the speed limit on wet, snow covered roads, especially if the said road is a two-lane winding backroad black top.
2) Slamming on your brakes WILL NOT help.
3) sixty year-old walnut trees DO NOT move, even a little.
4) The majority of cars manufactured in the United States after 1972 are mostly plastic.
I hope this helps!
Copyright 2005 Thomas J Wolfenden

14 comments:

Kev said...

Now that the statute of limitations has expired, I can say that you can do 90 mph on an ice covered road if you have studs on your tires and the road is straight, flat, 3 lanes, one-way, and - above all - free of any other cars. Curvy windy road? Keep the speeds low, man. Very, very low.

I grew up with snow and ice driving - I passed my driving test on a day with lots of black-ice. Ms N keeps talking about wanting to live down one of those windy country roads. I hate them. With a passion. Perhaps if it's a curvy windy road in the tropics - but anywhere where it might rain and then freeze?

DivineMsN said...

I hope that people in the DC metro area read this. They are the WORST winter drivers. Hello DC isnt the deep south, people you do get snow! LOL!

As for you Mr. K, Alaska baby all the way!

Ranger Tom said...

Kev: I got my driver's licens in December... When the winter's were FAR worse than they are now. I was weaned on snow covered roads... It come second-nature to me but yet it still suprises me when people just don't GET IT...

And windy mountain roads ARE fun... Just in the summer with a 1967 Ford Mustang...

Ms.N: The WORST drivers by far, winter or any other season are the Boston drivers... Those fucks scare me.

berly02 said...

Are you sure those trees won't move at all?? ;)
Lucky for me, I live in southeast Texas. No snow for me!

Courtney said...

I live in Texas, and being a Texan, it's not often that I've had to deal with snow. I can actually count the times on my pointer finger. That's right - I've seen snow ONE TIME in my life. And that was Christmas Eve 2004. Let me tell you, driving in the snow is not an easy task for a Texan. We were sliding all over the road trying to get home. No fun at all. Give me the heat and the rain any day :)

Lora said...

OK, guys, fasten your seat belts and picture this:

Extreme northern Wisconsin/Upper Peninsula Michigan border Snowbelt country. 45 year mother going gray quickly, 15 year old daughter just bestowed with Learner's Permit and eager to hit the road which has our usual November combination of ice (black and any other color you want), heavy slush, drifed snow, and 12 ft wide county plows barreling along at 60 mph merrily taking out mailboxes.

I appreciate your prayers on my behalf.

cmk said...

Winter driving is the pits when you have people that don't know a thing about snow. Add clueless college students--lots of them--to Lora's description and you know what I live through all winter! It is quite scary.

dasi said...

Snow makes all drivers morons. It's just a fact of life. Well, all drivers except ME, of course! ;)

Lisa said...

You would think people in MIssouri would know how to drive in snowy weather too. But NOOOOOO!

Good luck this winter season. Ya'll will be very busy. :-)

Crazy Me said...

Texas drivers are the worst. They can't even handle rain, much less a slight snowfall.

Lindsey said...

You're just supposed to 'tap' the breaks right? Not slam...?

Ranger Tom said...

All those Texans: I've been to places in Tesas where it does snow... And they still couldn't drive in it there either...LOL

Linny: Slowly pump the brake pedal and steer INTO any skid, if you're in one...

Lora: I'll remember to stay of the sidewalk next time I'm in Michigan!

Dasi: But of couse! How could I ever think anything else? I'm in sheer awe of your winter automotive handling abilities!

Berly: No, trees don't move, and niether do fire hydrants, even though Hollywood would try to convince you otherwise...

MsN: I still say Boston. New England drivers are without a doubt the worst, second only to southern California drivers, which all Arizona was full of when I lived there. And where I lived it snowed there too, and we measured that snow in FEET... The shock of a LA transplant driving for the first time in Northern Arizona snow was priceless!

Kat_womanx2 said...

more than 20 accidents in raleigh county alone between the hours of 1230pm and 10pm on tuesday...this being our first snow of the year...JOB SECURITY !!!!!

Ranger Tom said...

Kat: read that in the paper this morning... Winter is hardly here yet and the fun is beginning already! And it's job security for you, but I volunteer to do this now... So who is the nutty one?