Thursday, June 25, 2009

Super-duper ultra-secret!

I had hinted yesterday that I was involved in a super secret project... And here's a few more details.
Almost every year the Tiki Bar sponsors the "Great American Raft Race" in "The Beautiful Industrial Canal" here in Clewiston. Me and three of my buddies decided to enter. John and I have spent the past week or so constructing the raft in his breezeway. The rules of the race are fairly simple, NO boats or manufactured hulls, has to be home-made, human powered and at least 4' wide and 8' long.
This afternoon the vessel will have it's "shakedown" cruise in the basin. We've even named it, "The Damn Yankee Clipper" and we believe we have the winning design. The race kicks off on Saturday the 27th. at 2PM.
While John and I discussed the design, we pondered all sorts of things, like hydrodynamics, water flow and speed. But the most important thing was buoyancy. With the four of us on the damn thing, it's got to float over 800 pounds of idiotic middle-aged drunk men. We think it'll work, but in case it doesn't we'll all have personal floatation devices, like a beer cooler.
Since John and I have done most of the work in the construction of the vessel, the other two crew members, Skip and Ron have been tasked with the purchase of all the frosty-cold adult beverages on Saturday.
I think that's a fair trade.
No photos yet of the vessel, because they're still classified Tippy~Top, Super~Duper, Ultra~Secret.
Keep your fingers crossed and wish us luck in the race Saturday!
Drunken rant Copyright 2009 Thomas J Wolfenden


Anonymous said...

Take pictures, should be a riot!

Ranger Tom said...

Leazwell: Oh, there's photos! This evening's shakedown cruize was a hoot!