I've had quite a lot of time to think and reflect over stuff in the last thirteen months.
I've been thinking about my lot in this life, and no matter how screwed up my life is, I've still got it pretty good. But lately I've been thinking. I grew up in Philadelphia. I have a pretty good life. I could have been born in some Third-World shithole, but I wasn't. I was born into privilege. No, my family wasn't rich. Far from it. But I was still born into a family in the greatest nation on earth. I've got a roof over my head, food in the cupboard and a fire in the furnace. That's what sets me aside as privileged. But there's some things that are still pissing me off.
How is it that some people are still able to walk on this earth getting high, drunk, stoned. Doing drugs, beating their wives... Collecting welfare even though they can work. Treating people like shit and still sucking air? Why is it that a guy like me, who never really ever tried to intentionally hurt someone is always getting shit on and a shithead wins a 300 million dollars in the Powerball lottery and is constantly getting locked up for DUI? Guys I went to school with who haven't done shit with there lives getting over on everyone and everything still getting high and drunk on the corner when I went at seventeen and proudly served my country?
I'm a survivor. I've always been a survivor. There's few things in my life I've set out to do in my life that I haven't succeeded at. It still pisses me off. I will succeed in my next venture. I'll be a Railroad engineer. It's what I've always wanted to do and I will do it without any help from family or friends. I'll do it like I've done everything in my life. On my own.
But still I'm pissed off.
I'm pissed off at the big money attorneys getting fat checks for other peoples miseries. Fat people suing fast food places for making them fat. Smokers suing tobacco companies for giving them cancer. Kids suing their parents for hitting them. I'm pissed off at my ex-wife for making my life miserable and even though I haven't tried to have contact with her since last May, she's still able to get under my skin and then ruin what I thought was the best relationship I had ever found. I'm pissed off at the democrats for saying I don't really need a tax cut. I've got news for you mister Democrat. This might come as a shock to you, but it's MY FUCKING money. I worked for it and I should have some say in what kind of tax cut I get. As for Social Security, again, it's my money in the first place assholes. If I want to invest part of it, I should be able to invest part of it. I lose it, that's my own goddamn problem.
I'm pissed off plenty, but I'll survive.
I'll tell you what. IF there really is a God, he's got a shitload of explaining to do.
Copyright 2005 Thomas J Wolfenden