Friday, March 11, 2005

Cop Humor

A lot of people out there just don't get my humor. It's called Black, Dark, Cop or Gallows Humor. It's defense mechanism. I, like many of my fellow cops, EMS & soldiers out there use it as a defense. If we didn't laughed at some things we'd go completely insane.

My humor is also the reason I could never again be a cop. Political Correctness has driven itself in too deep into the job. With the proliferation of "Civilian Review Boards" (ie: A group of folks who have no clue what it's like to be a cop, telling us how they think we should do our jobs)

My humor has gotten me into trouble before and I'll get to that, but here's a story I think is funny as hell. Apparently in Austin, Texas there was a night club. This night club was what we like to call "A pain in the Ass". Numerous nuisance calls over a period of years. The cops hated going there because it was such a pain in the ass. Bullshit calls. Calls taking up time that could otherwise be used doing real police work. So the cops were fed up with the place.

I can identify.

So, apparently on February 18th of this year, when the place was burning to the ground, several Austin, TX police officers and dispatchers messaged each other with some "Gallows Humor". Things like "Burn, baby burn!" from the 70's disco song and "It smells like victory'! One officer messaged: "I'm laughing too. I was thinking the same thing!".

Were these messages over the police radio? No, they were text-messages on the police in-car computer. But, alas, a concerned citizen didn't think it was all that funny and reported them. So now, good cops have been suspended without pay. Austin, Texas is short two or more cops on the street for a few weeks because some dipshit who has no clue what it's like to be out there decided it wasn't funny.

A little excessive? I think so.

These dildoes who think they know how to be a cop... Save it. You have no idea what it's like. Stop trying to tell the cops how to do it better, ok?

I was crucified by a little thing I uttered one night. I had responded to a motorcycle vs. tractor-trailer one day. The biker's arm had been severed. The paramedic on the scene asked my partner and I to find the arm. After about fifteen minutes, I found the arm under a parked car. In passing, carrying the severed arm to the ambulance I noticed that the arm still had a wristwatch on. I said in passing to my partner: "Hey look. It takes a licking and keeps on ticking!"

A kind citizen who overheard that didn't take too kindly to it.

Fo that I was suspended for thirty days and had to attend "Sensitivity Training".

Cut me a fucking break. Get over it.

Let cops have there jokes. It's the only thing keeping them from going insane.

Copyright 2005 Thomas J Wolfenden

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