Me Bitter? No, not me!

I've been asked many times why I'm so bitter.

I don't know. You tell me.

I met my ex ten years ago. I restored her credit, paid off her student loans, and got her a great paying job away from the little shithole of a town where I met her. I quit my well-paying job in Philadelphia, moved from Philly to Chino Valley, Arizona away from everything I ever knew, friends and family not to see them for years. When we bought the house in Arizona, it was my credit that got us the mortgage. When my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer, I was told by my ex (she had taken over the finances at that point) that "we" couldn't afford my trip back right away. Because of that, I never got to say goodbye to my mother. I was the only one of my siblings not at her bedside when she died.

While we were in Arizona, I found out after we separated, that my ex had signed up for at least thirtyseven credit cards in my name, running them all up to the max and defaulting on them effectively destroying my credit. I also discovered she became pregnant on a "business" trip to Atlanta, and the only way I found out she was pregnant at all was she miscarried three months later. I wondered why all of our friends slowly stopped coming around while I was home. All "our" friends were rapidly becoming "her" friends, she had been telling them all I was some pedophile, effectively leaving me alone two thousand miles from the only family or friends I had left.

When we finally separated, I got a job working for the railroad in West Virginia. I would be gone six to eight weeks at a time. I'd get "home" to my little hovel I was renting in Arizona, I'd have numerous voicemail messages and emails from her new boyfriend, giving me graphic play-by-play reports on what they were doing in my bed. During the divorce, she let the house go into forcloseure just so I didn't get half of the equity, saying she couldn't keep up the mortgage payments (Even though she was spending well over $450 a month in three separated bars in Paulden & Chino Valley, AZ. I have the cancelled checks) and at the time was making over $17 an hour at her primary job and $400 a week under the table at another local bar where she bartended two nights a week.

My divorce was final on the 3rd of February. She was awarded everything, the house, (In forclosure) my F-250 pickup, my camper, horse trailer, two horses, two dogs, the cats, the furniture. Everything. I was able to get out of town with just what I could fit into my 1989 Ford Taurus. I still have yet to be able to register that here either because she refuses to put the title into an envelope, put a 37c stamp on it and put it in the mail.

Now, you'd think she'd be happy just to destroy me financially and emotionally and leave it at that, wouldn't you?

Of course she couldn't.

Like I said, my divorce was final almost two months ago. She just couldn't let it go from there even though I had told her and her high-dollar attorney I was done with her and hoped I'd never see her again. She just couldn't let it go. Even though I moved back east and was trying desperately to forget her and move on with my life. I was finally happy for once for the first time in ten years. I had moved on. She was out of my life. I had no contact with her or even tried to contact her since April of last year.

I had met the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. We started dating and I though we might just have a future together. I had never met anyone like her before. She was like a carbon-copy of me, only with ovaries.

Do you thing my ex could let me be, even after the divorce was final?

Fuck no.

Again, unbeknownst to me, she had broken into my Yahoo! Email account (she had already broke into my MSN hotmail account back in September of last year) and started logging onto all kinds of porn sites using my real name and email address. I never found out she was doing this although I had gotten some weird emails from time to time, I brushed them off as spam. She was sending emails to people in my name (who really checks there "Sent Messages" box anyway?) and other things. When she intercepted emails from the woman I was dating, she emailed her, giving her a whole bullshit story on how much of a pervert I was, telling her to go to these sites to see for herself.

Needless to say, the woman I was seeing broke up with me. I'm still kind of pissed that she didn't ask me about any of this stuff, but I do see her point. She doesn't need the aggravation, and she has a twelve year old daughter to worry about. I am definitely not a pedophile, but the damage is already done. I don't blame her, but I do blame my ex. She just won't let go, and is bound and determined to further destroy me.

No, I have not a fucking clue why I'm so bitter. Do you?

Copyright 2005 Thomas J Wolfenden