Friday, March 18, 2005

Out of the loop

Last Monday I was doing the USA Today crossword and one clue shocked me. I was dumbstruck. Three letters, "Barbie's Ex".

Barbie's Ex? When the fuck did that happen?

I didn't even know she was married! Shit. Poor old Ken. She probably took him for everything. Barbie probably had Lesbian Feminist Attorney Barbie sue the shit out of him and humiliate poor misunderstood Ken in front of the judge.

But he was always such a wimp anyway. Between my GI Joe with the life-like hair and Kung-Fu grip and my Steve Austin Six-Million Dollar Man "Action Figures" beating him up all the time and Barbie emasculating him by forcing him to ride around in that pink Corvette and the Winnebago covered in the flowers like some pussy, he had to have some issues. Barbie had been cuckolding him for so long he probably snapped one day, took one of GI Joe's M-1 rifles and shot the shit out of Barbie's Dream Penthouse.

Oh, well. Ken will survive. With a lot of therapy and psycotropic drugs, he should be back to normal someday. Barbie must have been a plastic screw anyway...

Copyright 2005 Thomas J Wolfenden

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