Tuesday, March 01, 2005

French Toast Time!

I thought when I moved to Arizona in 98' I'd seen my last snow storm. But of course I had to move to an area there that gets snow measured in feet, but only stayed around for a day or two... So now I'm back in the east and dealing with my first real snow storm in nine years. But I'm also realizing some things never change and I'm really starting to believe that it's all in genetics. It's in our primal instincts. It has to be.

French Toast.

Here in my new home state of West Virginia we've been getting snow since Sunday morning. Calling for six to eight more inches of the white stuff over night again. On my way home from work tonight I realized I was running low on some staples in my kitchen like milk and was down to the heel of the loaf of bread I had. I stopped at the local Kroger's to get more.

Do you think I could get a gallon of milk, a loaf of bread or a dozen eggs? Of course not! It's the French Toast gene.

It's got to be some primeval drive in us homosapiens to make French toast every time it snows. I bet the Cro-magnon man living in the caves in (where else) France! Why do you think the call it "French Toast"? were the first ones to do it... Grog says to Mog... "Look like white stuff fall from sky! We must make fluffy egg-bread-milk things over fire!"

And that's where it all started. So to this day humans have been unknowingly buying up all the dairy products in the grocery store every time it snows because of our ancient, inbred instincts that go back to the time before recorded history...

Snow storm = French Toast.

I got home and wanted to prove my hypothesis. I phoned the anthropology department at West Virginia University. They basically laughed and hung up on me. Undeterred, I phoned Marshall University's Behavioral science department and this is what I found out!

They basically did the same thing... Laughed their asses off and hung up on me...

Again, I believe in my heart of hearts I'm right! I can't prove it, but just TRY to but a dozen eggs, a gallon of milk or a loaf of bread during any snowstorm! You can't, because everyone has bought it all!

They're making French toast...

Hey, give me a call! I'll bring the syrup!

Copyright 2005 Thomas J Wolfenden

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