Does this just happen to me?
Last night while getting ready for work I realized I was out of everything.
I get up out of bed and stumble to the kitchen to make a pot of coffee. No coffee left. Shit. I need coffee to get through the day. This is not going to be good.
I'm using the facilities and notice I'm completely out of toilet paper. Didn't I just but the huge family-sized eco pack of dingleberry eradication material?
I jump in the shower and the first thing I notice is I'm down to that last little sliver of soap about the same size and thickness as a credit card, the same size that normal people throw out. But those of you who have been faithful readers for a while know that I'm not a 'normal' person.
I'm still in the shower and go to wash my hair. I'm out of shampoo. Great...
I'm finished my shower and go to shave... I'm out of blades for my razor. Go to brush my teeth and I squeeze the last dollop of paste onto the brush...
Go to my dresser to get clothes for the day and notice I'm running low on clean unmentionable underthings, so I do what I've been doing for a while, take all my laundry and bag it up to take to work with me. In the utility room at the office there's a really nice washer~dryer combo I've been using overnight sometimes do do my laundry. Saves time and it's convenient.
I'm out of detergent and bleach.
What the fuck!
Ok. I'll get through this sez I.
I'm putting on my boots and SNAP! There goes a bootlace. At least I did have a spare for that.
Now I'm thinking about yesterday's post where I kind of poked fun at the minister getting electrocuted, not that I'd ever derive pleasure from someone else's misfortunes... And I though God is sure surprising the shit out of me today...
Sad part is that payday is still five days from now and I have a grand total of $3.42 in my checking account.
Well, in Ranger School in the army they taught us to adapt and improvise...
I have some Arm & Hammer baking soda so I can brush my teeth, nasty but effective and I do have a bottle of dish detergent... So I'll just be squeaky clean and have that lemon-fresh scent the rest of the week!
Have a great Monday!
Copyright 2005 Thomas J Wolfenden
8 comments:
That's no good :) But I'm sure you smell scrumptious! Spend the money on coffee. It's the main necessity to get through. Everything else is secondary!!!
LMAO...squeaky clean indeed.. :)
Wow ... it is true that no matter how bad your day is going, somebody out there somewhere is having a worse one.
Thanks, Tom!
I'm with Courtney. Buy the coffee!! I myself couldn't make it through life with out coffee.
btw - great blog!
It's a case in point, Tom... careful what you wish for!
Zap!
I happen to be very anal retentive about things, so if I don't have AT LEAST 2 replacements of everything I need, I feel as if I have to go shopping. You don't even WANT to see my pantry! However, it worked out very well those years the kids were little and we were paying off the Christmas bills--didn't need to go grocery shopping for a month. Hang in there--after all, necessity is the mother of invention. :)
Funny blog, Tom; I can relate. The list making is a good idea but make sure it's the stick-on-the-frig-magnetic type so you can find it and write stuff on it as soon as you notice you're getting low. Stocking up when necessities are on sale or at your local
"discount" store helps, too.
BTW, I'm in "Coffee Is A Priority Camp" with the exception of T.P. The Sears catalog pages don't flush so well!
My suggestion is to "borrow" a roll of TP from work, along with anything else you can borrow. If I was there, I would spare you a square (or hell the whole roll).
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