Saturday, May 21, 2005

My Toad Exploded!

Now another report from the "I am not making this shit up" file.

As I've reported in the past, I work nights and listen to all-night talk radio for entertainment. If you've ever had the pleasure of listening to George Nory or Art Bell on the syndicated overnight talk show "Coast to Coast AM", take the time. It's one of the most entertaining programs on the radio.

They talk about Bigfoot, UFO's. Ghosts, Government conspiracies... Shit like that. I don't believe this stuff, but the guests they have on the show to talk about these topics are quite a laugh, and the callers are even better. I laugh my ass off most nights and it really make the nights go by quicker.

But last night George had on one of his regulars, the reporter Linda Moulton-Howe. She's a real reporter and goes around investigating all kinds of weird shit, kind of like the character "Kolchak" in that 70's series "The Night Stalker".

This time apparently Toads are exploding all over Germany and Denmark.

No shit.

Check out that link. Pretty bizarre shit. Like the "Raining of the Frogs" (Which I've actually seen) in Honduras.

"Eh, Franz, vat vas dat noise?"

"Och! It vas der amphibians detonating again, Hans!"

"Schiess! I really hate ven der frogs go boom!"

"Ya, it is a mess in der yard!"

"Ya, der lass time dat happened, Heidi vas vashin der yard fer da whole week a frog guts."

"I tell ya, Franz, ist dat George Bush doin it I tell ya!"

But could you imagine it happening here? I can just see it in the paper:

"Tell ya' what! Virgil n' me were down in the holler fetchin' us some nightcrawlers, when BLAM! Frogs is splodin' all over the dern place! Ain't seen nothin' like it since ol' Doc Whittaker's coonhound went up like a roman candle... One a' those spontanus combustibles!"

It tell you, there's some weird shit out there. They always say fact is stranger than fiction, but most of the time it follows me around...

There's a small pond behind my apartment. I'm keeping a wary eye out for any of the frogs there... You never know when a wayward frog will explode. I'd hate to go up in a tragic spontaneous amphibian detonation.

Copyright 2005 Thomas J Wolfenden

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