I am just sick and goddamn tired hearing of the alleged "abuses" at Guantanimo Bay.
Who cares? I sure as shit don't. These people would gladly kill you and we're so fucking worried about offending them.
Fuck them.
I have a great idea. No more torture to get information. In fact, my idea is so great I'm surprised no one else has thought of it before.
It's fool proof.
Play the song "Muskrat Love" by The Captain & Tenniel over and over again, 24-7. That song heard just a few times would push anyone over the edge.
guaranteed every last stinking one of them will be spilling their guts out within seventy-two hours, giving up bin Laden or anything else the CIA wants to know.
I'm thinking of coming up with a CD I'll burn and send down to the interrogators at GitMo...
"Twenty Songs to extract information from the Terrorists, but not offend them in any way, shape or form"
1) Muskrat Love ~ Captain & Tenniel
2) Billy, don't be hero ~ Bo Donaldson
3) Achey Breaky Heart ~ Billy Ray Cyrus
4) (insert anything from Jennifer Lopez here)
5) Shadow Dancing ~ Barry Gibb
6) My Beautiful balloon ~ the fifth Dimension
7) Taxi ~ Harry Chapin
8) (insert anything from Pat Boone here)
9) Send in the Clowns ~ Judy Collins
10) Me and you and a dog named boo ~ Lobo
11) American Pie ~ Don McLean (This one is particularly vicious)
12) Sweet Caroline ~ Neil Diamond
13) (insert anything from Tony Orlando & Dawn here)
14) Escape (the pina colada song) ~ Rupert Holmes
15) Afternoon Delight ~ Starland Vocal Band
16) The Electric Slide ~ Marcia Griffin
17) The Macarina
18) (insert anything from Barbara Strisand here)
19) Leader of the Band ~ Dan Fogelberg
20) The theme to "Different Strokes" (if that don't push them over the edge, nothing will...)
Instructions: Play repeatedly, sit back, keep note pads and pens ready, information will spew out in moments...
Let me see the ACLU or Amnesty International bitch about that.
Copyright 2005 Thomas J Wolfenden
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3 comments:
Ah yes... That would surely do it too...
Make sure they have to watch the video for Achy Breaky Heart. Oofa! :)
THE GUANTANAMO DETAINEES: THE GOVERNMENT’S STORY
Professor Mark Denbeaux* and Joshua Denbeaux*
An interim report
EXECUTIVE SUMMARY
The media and public fascination with who is detained at Guantanamo and why has been
fueled in large measure by the refusal of the Government, on the grounds of national security, to
provide much information about the individuals and the charges against them. The information
available to date has been anecdotal and erratic, drawn largely from interviews with the few
detainees who have been released or from statements or court filings by their attorneys in the
pending habeas corpus proceedings that the Government has not declared “classified.”
This Report is the first effort to provide a more detailed picture of who the Guantanamo
detainees are, how they ended up there, and the purported bases for their enemy combatant
designation. The data in this Report is based entirely upon the United States Government’s own
documents.1 This Report provides a window into the Government’s success detaining only those
that the President has called “the worst of the worst.”
Among the data revealed by this Report:
1. Fifty-five percent (55%) of the detainees are not determined to have committed any
hostile acts against the United States or its coalition allies.
2. Only 8% of the detainees were characterized as al Qaeda fighters. Of the remaining
detainees, 40% have no definitive connection with al Qaeda at all and 18% are have no definitive
affiliation with either al Qaeda or the Taliban.
3. The Government has detained numerous persons based on mere affiliations with a
large number of groups that in fact, are not on the Department of Homeland Security terrorist
watchlist. Moreover, the nexus between such a detainee and such organizations varies considerably.
Eight percent are detained because they are deemed “fighters for;” 30% considered “members of;” a
large majority – 60% -- are detained merely because they are “associated with” a group or groups the
Government asserts are terrorist organizations. For 2% of the prisoners their nexus to any terrorist
group is unidentified.
4. Only 5% of the detainees were captured by United States forces. 86% of the
detainees were arrested by either Pakistan or the Northern Alliance and turned over to United States
custody.
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