All I can say is

What the fuck!!!!!!!

All I want to say is First Community Bank is the most fucked-up bank I've ever done business with. Because of them I may be living in my car shortly. I've done that before, January and February 04' come to mind... At least this time it won't be in the middle of winter.

Let me explain.

Last month I wrote my rent check and put it in the mail. A few weeks ago I get a call from my landlord saying he's never received my rent for the month of July. Ok sez I, and I check with my bank. The check I wrote never cleared it seems but oddly enough, the money to cover the check is no longer in my account.

Curious...

So I let my landlord know this, I'm not trying to gaff him for the rent. I get paid Friday the 5th I tell him. I'll get his rent then. He's in Wisconsin hunting, so his building manager takes the check I've written for the proper amount plus late fees. I let him know I will be behind now a few weeks for the August rent. Ok sez he, just as long as I'm making the effort to get the cash to him. I tell him I get paid again on the 19th and I'll get him another $200 then. I'll be playing catch-up for a month or so, but I'll make good. I should also mention at this point I haven't paid my phone or internet yet because I just don't have the money.

Right after I give the manager the check, I head to the bank with my paycheck which I promptly deposit into my checking account to cover the rent. I know I'm going to be a little short for the next few weeks. I'm used to that now with the slave wages my boss pays me on my McJob.

Before I deposited my paycheck I had exactly $3.29 in my checking account. After my deposit Friday, the check for the back rent and another check I wrote at the Deli Mart for $9.61, and the less-cash I received when I deposited my check, I should have $44.92 in the balance.

Then comes Sunday night. I go to the ATM at my bank while I was at work to check my balance.

Guess what the balance reads?

-$ 89.72

How the fuck can I be $89 overdrawn?

I write three lousy checks a month. I don't have that much activity in my account because I deposit so little money into it. But I always make sure my deposits will cover the checks I write, and I sure as shit don't write over $400 in checks in bars each month like someone who shall remain nameless did in Arizona.

I field a phone call from the building manager Monday morning when he calls to tell me my check isn't any good, and if I don't have last months' and this months' rent by Friday he's going to the County Magistrate to file a complaint. So I head to the bank. They tell me any deposits made after 2 PM go in the next business day. Fine. That still doesn't explain the negative balance. They have no answer... The branch manager is out at meetings I'm told.

Fucking wonderful.

So last night I'm at work, I have a bile-filled throb in my stomach that I haven't felt in a long time knowing my landlord is just a big enough dickhead to evict me for this. I go to the ATM at my branch three times to check the balance and all three times I get a different balance, all still in the red, but different enough to tell the difference.

How the fuck could my whole fucking paycheck disappear from Friday afternoon and Monday afternoon, with me not touching a red-cent of it besides the two checks I've written? Nobody seems to know or care at my bank, and my landlord has a giant eight-foot hardon for me for some reason unexplained to me as since the past nine months I've lived here I've never been late with the rent before.

Every Goddamn time I fell like I'm getting ahead, or just breaking even something happens to kick my in the balls. Not a damn thing has gone right for me in the last few months (well, not every thing, dinner was nice Thursday, by the way...) and I just feel like I'm sinking lower and lower some days. I've rolled my last $3 in pennies to get myself a pack of cigarettes last night and even they didn't last the entire shift. I was chain-smoking in a frantic worry the whole shift.

No good deed goes unpunished. I try to live my life good... And see what happens? Contrary to popular belief, I am a pretty nice guy. I always believe in taking responsibility for one's own actions. I've made plenty of mistakes before and I readily admit to them. If this was my fault I'd cop to it. Why the fuck does this shit always happen to me?

If I disappear for a while I'm living in a 1989 Ford Taurus somewhere in the woods... That I have no title for because someone who shall remain nameless still refuses to put the title into the mail from Arizona giving me more grief. Maybe the Mothman will come and take me some night then and put me out of my misery.

What the FUCK!!!!!!!!!!

Copyright 2005 Thomas J Wolfenden