Fan mail

Got an email this morning from a guy saying how much he loved my blog because I'm such a loser.

From The Nightman:

My hobby is checking out blogs....I came to yours and liked your way with words, but I stayed because you are such a textbook example of a loser. One sure sign of a loser is that they think that everybody else is a loser, stuff that happens to them is always somebody else's fault, other people are dumb, etc.etc.etc.......yet the real problem is themselves. Let's see, you work a dumbass minimum wage type job in one of the most backward states in the Union. You don't have any money, but you smoke cigarettes and drink beer even while you are losing your belongings because you "can't" pay for the storage. Everybody seems to conspire to cause you trouble, you blame somebody else for all your troubles, yet your biggest trouble is yourself.

Why am I such a loser? Apparently he's only reading what he wants to read into what I've written. Sure I bitch about my plight, and it's a position I'm in all by myself and I really have no one else to blame for it. But I'm not putting blame on anyone else for my position, only myself, and if you'd have had read deeper you'd have realized I'm actually laughing at myself most of the time. (ok, maybe I blame it slightly on my ex... But that's my prerogative, you live with her for as long as I did and tell me different!)

Hell, I'm laughing at myself all the time.

Maybe I'm in a depressed area in the country but it's nowhere near 'backwards', I do make a lot more than minimum wage and what business is it of yours if I smoke cigarettes and have a beer now and then? I never let any of my vices get in the way of my bills unlike a lot of folks I've known throughout the years. I didn't realize your were my self-appointed conscience.

I moved to West Virginia for a lot of reasons. The main reason is to get on full-time with the railroad, which believe it or not, there's a lot of opportunities for just that in this whole area. I'm not looking to get rich, never have. I have a bachelor's degree from a major university and could move back to Philadelphia tomorrow and get a really well paying job. But I choose to live here. Sitting in a little cubicle working 9 to 5 Monday through Friday would destroy me. So I'm not bitching about where I live.

Just because it's a depressed area doesn't mean it's not a very nice place to live and the people are the nicest people I've ever met. Another reason I moved here is to get away from my ex-wife... And compared to what life was like living with her my life is a million times better.

I don't want to live in Philadelphia or any other large population center because most of those areas are full of people just like you who go through life passing judgment on others because they smoke cigarettes or drink a beer or two once in a while or don't have what one thinks is a well paying job or live in an alleged "good area".

Another reason I left the church, hypocrisy. Those that live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

I may very well be a loser in your frame of mind. But I still have my self respect and haven't lost the ability to laugh really long and hard at myself, which I do daily here. Life is too Goddamn short NOT to laugh and take things so seriously.

Yes, I've had a pretty screwed up time the last few years, but I'm surviving. I don't beleive anyone is conspiring or 'out to get me'. My bitching about things is my way of stepping a little outside of things, taking a very hard look around and laughing about it. It's all a joke because my life is just one big joke. If I can make one person smile or laugh along with me every day, maybe I'm doing some good out there in my life because laughter is the best medicine and a lot of my readers get it, but apparently you don't.

And that's all that really matters to me. Isn't it making someone's life just a little bit better, however brief?

So what if I smoke, or drink and don't have what you'd call a good job or live in what you think is a nice area. And if you chose to only read what you want to read into what I've written and overlook all the good things I've said I guess you'd be right in calling me a loser.

But if I make only one person smile once a day, make their day just a little bit brighter by laughing at little screwed up things that happen to me...

"Shit... That's fucked up! I'm glad I'm not Tom!"

I guess I'm really a winner, aren't I?

Copyright 2005 Thomas J Wolfenden