There are NO stupid questions

Only stupid people.

I just can't get over how Goddamn stupid people are.

For the last damn time, what I write here is HUMOR...

Not to be taken seriously.

Ok?

Have I made myself perfectly crystal-clear on that, you fucking dolts?

Far too many of you out there in Cyberland take me seriously.

STOP IT, OK?

I know my brand of humor isn't for everyone, and if you don't get it you probably never will, so stop emailing me trying to right some wrong or mistake I've made. I deal with irony, with a dash of absurdity, despair and hopelessness thrown in.

But I'm constantly getting emails from people who JUST DON'T GET IT...

"Tom, in your post about the extra "Y" chromosome you were wrong..." And "Sir, I'm taking offence to your put-down of PETA..." Or "You don't know what you're talking about, the army was never..." And several like "Tom. You really should re-consider the plight of the dolphin by consuming only dolphin-friendly tuna..." Blah, blah, blah.

It's a joke, ok?

I will find humor in ANYTHING. (I'm the guy who joked about a watch on a severed arm I was holding, remember?)

If I have to explain it, it isn't funny. If you don't like my blog, great. Don't fucking read it. No one is holding a gun to your head. Gallows humor isn't for everyone and I shouldn't have to explain myself about every damn post I make. I DON'T make anything up here, but a lot of times I do change places, times and events and I NEVER will mention names or specifics, unless those said names or events are already in the public domain, and only then to protect the guilty.

This isn't a serious blog. It's humor. I'm not talking about things of great social import here. If that's what you're looking for, look elsewhere. I talk about farts, people that piss me off, farts, things that piss me off, farts, stupid folks, funny things I observe during my day and farts.

Shit like that.

If you find offence in my blog, good. You're probably one of those prigs that would piss me off in person anyway and I'm glad I offended you.

For the last time, I'm not going to explain my humor. If you don't get it, you're a moron who should be dragged out into the street and shot and were most probably a waste of sperm when you were conceived. You are an oxygen thief who is sucking up air that I could be breathing.

I really don't want to sound ungrateful because I do get many positive messages, which does keep me plugging away day in, day out. But I have to say, if you read my blog, and get it, enjoy... If you don't get it, move on. Please don't try to right my alleged wrongs. You're wasting your time.

I'm glad I got that off my chest.

I'll put my rifle and explosives away now...

Copyright 2005 Thomas J Wolfenden