Thursday, August 25, 2005

A rare glimpse into the unknown

I was treated to a rare treat last night.

Again I couldn't sleep, so getting up several hours before I had to, I got dressed and walked next door to the diner to get some coffee.

I was sitting at the counter having my coffee and reading the paper when two college students came in and sat next to me. I didn't think anything of it until that began to talk and it was obvious that I was witness to a rare and splendorus event.

The rarely seen mating ritual of the North American Algorithniacomputeris Americanus, or the common college freshman geek.

The male was wearing Bermuda shorts, sandals, a checked button-down short sleeve shirt and the female, unlike other species, was as plain as her erstwhile suitor wearing as Joan Baez t-shirt and baggy jeans, her long mousy and un-washed hair was pulled back in the ever-present severe ponytail.

Algorithniacomputeris Americanus isn't known for it's hygiene either.

And so the mating ritual begins...

Male: "So, are you a freshman too?"

Female: "Yes."

Male: "What's your major?"

Female: "Literature."

Male: "Cool. I like Isaac Asimov too. I'm going to be an entomologist!"

And so it went on... After the ritualistic feast was consumed, the intricate dance was resumed and I listened with wonder.

Male: "So, if you were an insect, what kind would you be?"

Female: "I don't know, that's kind of hard to think of."

Male: "Ok. I hear there's a Star Trek convention coming to Charleston in November. Want to go with me?"

I could just imagine Marlin Perkins from that old TV show "Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom" doing a running voice-over commentary.

As fascinating as it was, it was also extremely painful too. I paid for my coffee an walked home and thought, "School only started Monday..."

The fascinating things one sees and hears living in a tiny college town in Southern West Virginia.

Copyright 2005 Thomas J Wolfenden


Sydney said...

What kind of INSECT would you be? NO! Oh Gawd...

p.s. mechanically separated chicken huh? Now your AVERAGE consumer just doesn't know about THAT! So pray tell... ;)

Sydney said...

Thanks for the well wishes, and I hope you get some sleep sometimes soon! ;)

I guess you've tried ambien and all that stuff?