Wednesday, September 07, 2005

It's Alive!


Something else I wanted to bitch about yesterday but I was to damn tired to deal with...

This might come as a shock to some of you, not only am I a man who can admit when he's wrong, but I'm pretty good at keeping up with the housekeeping. Taking out the garbage, doing the laundry...

Washing the dishes...

But the last week or so I've been so busy with other shit I've been just a tad bit lax and the dishes have piled up some in the kitchen sink. When I left for Nicholas County Saturday afternoon there they sat... Along with two bags of garbage I had yet to take to the dumpster. (Skip to my friends in the UK & Australia) The garbage wasn't taken out because the guy who owns the auto repair place next door is forever putting his shit it it to overflowing, and none of the residents of my apartment building can throw their shit away. Complaints to my landlord have fallen on deaf ears.

I couldn't take the garbage out because for the fifth straight day my dumpster has been filled will all kinds of shit and the dishes, well, they'll just have to wait until I get home.

So I go off and do my thing, getting back about 8 AM yesterday. The first thing to greet me is a certain funk of rotting garbage... Something far worse that shitloads of curry...

Wonderful. Then I look at the sink.

Ack! Holy shit!

Any of those ID people who still think life didn't arrive out of nothing from the primordial ooze didn't see what I had growing in my sink yesterday. One look at the growing mass of green and yellow fuzz covering everything and your mind would have been changed forever. I even thought I saw some of it move... Like the Blob in that old Steve McQueen movie...

It was definitely alive! And I swear I saw it growing as I stood there in shock.

So I had this freakish science project conceived from the Island of Dr. Morreau and Frankenstien and the definite odor of Dead Guy in my place.

Needless to say I gave up some more of my precious sleep time and took care of this mess... And promised myself I wouldn't let it get that bad again... Next time it might grow out of control and try to take over the world... Or at least destroy Tokyo along with Mothra, Cronos and Godzilla...

And now today I have the distinct pleasure of going to the Laundromat, another one of my favorite chores.

I'd kill right now for a dishwasher and a washer~dryer combo...

Copyright 2005 Thomas J Wolfenden

6 comments:

A. Darcy said...

At some point my sink either has to be cleaned, or it starts to share the rent. Seeing as I am the superior life form(no comments) I kill of its inhabitance at least once a month...

and I'd let you borrow my washer... but the commute would kill you.

Lindsey said...

Ugh!!! I'm completely grossed out! I'm afraid i may have thrown up.
Glad you're stronger than me.

Cheryl said...

I don't blame you. Although I have a dishwasher and a washer/dryer in my loft and still dishes and especially laundry don't really get done.

Sydney said...

Now I feel spoiled. I have a dishwasher and a washer and dryer and I STILL have problems getting the damn housework done! ;P

Sherri said...

Yikes!! I had a similar experience with a bag of onions once. I couldn't understand why my kitchen had been taken over with fruit flies for over a week. Then I discovered the onions. Ugh!

Bekah said...

I think my dishes multiply in the sink when I leave the house....
Seems like when I left them it didn't seem like a lot of dishes but when I return it's like they procreated and now I have more..