Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Birthday Wishes...

I really want to say thanks to Diana, Karen & Bev for the birthday wishes yesterday. You don't know how nice that was to get them. You three are the only ones who remembered. I didn't even get an email from anyone in my family this year, let alone a Christmas Card.
Well, I did get a really nice Garitty flashlight from one of the guys on the Fire Department too, and that was really nice... Considering I never told anyone there that Tuesday was my birthday. I guess he saw it on my application. And considering he's only nineteen made it all the better, because how many nineteen year olds think that far ahead and are that thoughtful?
Anyway, having a birthday two days after Christmas isn't all it's cracked up to be, especially since the whole season seems to amplify and accentuate that you're one year older... And now in your 40's like me...
I'm not a real big fan of Christmas. It's too depressing most of the time, so having your birthday right there in your face hurts even more... When you're alone and most of your friends and family have deserted you.
Last year's Christmas was really bad... I'm not going to get into it now, I'll probably never discuss it here, it's far to painful and personal. I may never talk about it. But remembering last Christmas, spending this season alone and hitting 40...
Not much fun.
If I could just make one wish, it wouldn't be for money, fame or riches.
It would be that I could go back in time to October 2004... And right some wrongs that I knew nothing about but although I was ignorant of them, it didn't matter. They still did damage that I feel is irreparable. If I could fix them, or stop them from happening... Maybe things would have turned out differently. I still don't know everything and may never find out. All I know it was hateful and vindictive... And neither I nor the other party involved deserved any of it.
The period from September to the middle of November last year were the happiest time in my life.
I mourn the losses suffered over those last few months of 2004 like I've never mourned over anything before in my life. I'll probably never get back that feeling again...
That would be my one Christmas wish to last me a lifetime. If I could get those months back and right those wrongs I'd never ask for anything ever again.
So I'm truly thankful that this Christmas is over with... I hated to see it come. With Christmas comes a whole series of heartbreaks I can surely do without.
So thanks again for those birthday wishes. You have no idea how they made me feel last night.
A few people do really care about me after all.
Copyright 2005 Thomas J Wolfenden

12 comments:

Courtney said...

I'm sorry Tom - I honestly didn't know it was your birthday...
Here's to the holidays being over. And to healing.

Ranger Tom said...

No problem Courtney... I never really mentioned it but in passing in one of my rants about a moth ago... Turning 40 isn't something you advertize! LOL

berly02 said...

I as well feel bad about missing your birthday.
I'll have a shot of whatever your favorite liquor is in honor of you and your healing.

As for your Christmas wish, I would have to be selfish and say if you never experienced what you did, you may not have been motivated to produce your blog. And well, that would be sad in itself. You are totally part of my day.

Cheryl said...

I was not aware it was your birthday so I am sending late happy birthday wishes. I hope it was a good one!

Lisa said...

Had I known it was your birthday I would have sent you a message.

I hope 2006 turns out to be the Year of Tom!

Lisa said...

And just so you know.... I care. Alot of us commentors do! :-)

Colin said...

OY! I wished you a happy birthday and a merry xmas!

Colin said...

I didn't forget you mate :-) Have a good New Year too, keep smiling, stuff em all.

Crazy Me said...

Happy belated birthday!! Mine is next week so I know the feeling of the Christmas/birthday combo. It totally sucks. I haven't hit 40 yet but 30 was a doozy! I refuse to age so now go by the number/letter combo. As of now, I am 29E. Happy 29L to you!!

Ranger Tom said...

Thanks for all the birthday wishes! And Colin, I didn't get you stuff until yesterday afternoon for some reason, but I know you'd never forget... We've known eachother for to many years!

Kat_womanx2 said...

I truly apologize...was kinda wrapped up in my own December delimma....HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!!!!! ...and I do care..you know that.

Bev said...

Remembering birthdays is kind of my thing. Some people can do calculus, some people sing well. I remember birthdays. I guess it's a gift.