Saturday, December 03, 2005

Why did I even bother?

Several years ago I came to the realization that nothing I said to my spouse mattered. It wasn't just that I was wrong all the time, I was just ignored like a piece of furniture.
Like this. If you're driving the truck all the time and you know it leaks a little oil, check it once in a while. Don't come up to me and say "The truck is making a funny banging noise..." to which I would reply "How long has it been doing that?" and I'd get the response "About a month now..."

I'd check it out and find the oil pan almost dry... 'Check the oil once in a while... ' I'd say...

Do you think that could be done?

Fuck no.

Simple little things like that, checking the oil in the vehicle that you're driving... Maybe you can't put it in yourself, but CHECK it and I'll put it in if it needs it...

And it went on. Like what these pictures tell the tale of. In Arizona we'd get sandstorms once in a while. If you're ever caught it one, pull way off the road and stop, not continue barreling down the highway at 40 MPH (what the police report stated after the fact) where you could ram into the back of someone because visibility is zero...

I was not driving that day, by the way. But of course if I had and pulled off to the side and stopped, I'd have been wrong anyway.

My seventeen year old niece was a passenger at the time and I'm just so glad nothing happened to her, just a little shaken.

Well, like they say, it takes two to tango and it's my fault for ever letting it get that bad... So bad that our every waking moment together was spent sniping at each other to piss each other off. If I had said the sky was blue, it would have been purple. I swear at one point she'd take the cap off the toothpaste just to piss me off. Or just sit the new roll of toilet paper on the back of the hopper instead of putting on the roller. What was so fucking hard about that? I mean, it's right there anyway and it's not like you're going anywhere for a few minutes... Or back to the vehicles. Don't drive 40 miles from work to home, pass fifteen gas stations on the way, get home, wake me up (I was on night shift then) to tell me you're out of gas and have me get up and drive back into town to fill it. Don't tell me that I have a drinking problem when I have to throw out eight to ten rum bottles of yours every week and meet you at the bar every other night.
You get the idea.
I can tell you this much though, I've lived and learned and won't let that ever happen in any other relationship I'll ever be in again. Communication is the key. You lose that you've lost everything. You've got to talk every day with the one you're with, and never, ever take them for granted.




Sorry for the vent this morning, I found these pictures when I was going through some things to throw out last week and they brought out some old scars, so I had to vent a little. And some people wondered why I did drink so much then. It was to calm me down so I didn't throttle her most nights. I haven't had a beer or any alcohol in over two months now, and even the last time I bought a six-pack it lasted me over a month.
I'm way over that point in my life and I'm much happier now than I ever was.
But to some people I'd still be wrong...
Copyright 2005 Thomas J Wolfenden

11 comments:

berly02 said...

To those people you will always be wrong. I say fuck that.
and fuck them.

Lisa said...

My son is standing next to me. He saw your pictures and said, "That mean needs a tow truck mommy."

But wow. What an ordeal. It was smart to get out of that. Very unhealthy. And if she was drinking that much? Holy Cow!

I can't beleive some women don't put gas in their own vehicles. You had to do it? And she couldn't even check her oil? I take my hubby's and my own vehicle in for oil changes. Lots of times, I stop off at his work in the middle of the day to pick up his vehicle, that way he's never bothered. If I didn't, we'd have one car (his) that would be totally screwed. If his car needs repairs, I have to schedule that stuff too. (Yes, sometimes I DO feel like I'm his damn mom.)

Sounds like she needed to grow up. I hope she did.

Courtney said...

Sounds like you and your truck are better off now...
Good for you for getting out of that situation!

Bev said...

Ok, I must admit I never check my oil, but I'm smart enough to know that the oil must be changed every 3000 or so miles. My dad told me that when he got me my first car. He also told me something else about tire pressure, but I was too busy trying to remember the thing about the oil.

Airforce Guy said...

i remeber wen that happen! god u wer sooooo pist!

AZ Gal said...

Excuse me. Which car threw a rod and blew up the engine at 53,000 miles because someone did not check the oil??? Oh yeah...it was the Olds...the one YOU drove primarily...funny, the truck is still running...

And I was doing 15 mi per hour in the dust storm..I got no ticket, Deputy Lewis Johnson of the Yavapai County Sheriff's Office reported that I had no way of avoiding the accident, therefore no ticket, no fine...Would you like the DR # so that you can verify?

8-10 bottles of rum per week??? Hahahahaha...That's just so ridiculous and you know it, that I can't even comment on it.

Wouldn't put toilet paper on the holder just to piss you off??? How could I have put toilet paper on the holder? We didn't have holders for the toilet paper in either bathroom.

And like you would ever have gotten out of bed and driven back to town for gas...not that I EVER made you do that...but to make people think that you did...hahahahahahahahahahahaha.

I just love your blog...it is so entertaining cuz it's so full of crap.

Ranger Tom said...

az_gal: As always, you have a extremely selective memory.

Now please go away. I told your fancy lawyer over a year ago I never wanted any contact from you EVER again, now just go away. You got what you wanted, I'm gone and yet you still persist in interfering in my life.

For the VERY LAST TIME, GO AWAY!

I'M HAPPIER NOW WITHOUT YOU THAT I EVER WAS WITH YOU!

I NEVER, EVER WANT TO HEAR FORM YOU EVER AGAIN!

AZ Gal said...

I'm not persisting...this is the 1st time I've made any contact since April of 2004...(although you would love for people to think that I am still chasing you but I'm the one that left remember...why would I chase you...)but when I'm going through blogs and find yours and see how I am being slandered and looking at all the lies about me in your archives...Sorry, just had to stand up for myself. You can say whatever you want...but you know and I know what the truth REALLY is.... No matter how you want to twist it...Have a nice life...I always did hope the best for you. I never said you were a bad person, just that we ended up bad together. There's no need to slander me but then again...honesty never was your strong point was it? I'm sure you'll delete this comment, but I feel better for having stood up for myself. Goodbye.

Ranger Tom said...

Again, you have a warped sense of reality, and the law. It's only slander or libel if I directly use or name the person involved.Which I never have. Sounds like a clasic case of deflection of guilt to me... Pointing your finger away from yourself to assuage your guity conscience. Just like your little "Business Trip" in May of 03' and you and I know what happend 12 weeks after that...

And who's chasing who? The only contact I've had with the likes of you have been through your attorney.

I've got every single one of your log-on's to this blog over the last 6 months, times, dates and your IP... Over 3,000 so far. Some several times a day, but on the average 20 to 30 times a day.

I'm sure your company will love hearing about that.

AZ Gal said...

And I have yours on all the spam that you have signed me up for...perhaps Deputy Pearson would like to know about those...remember him?

And don't worry...this will be my last post to your blog...besides..what do I need you for...I have Adam..and you have noone...gee...wonder why?

Have a nice life..I will still read your blog though...just for the laughs. Some of it is really quite good, the stuff not about me that is...I always told you that you had a gift, it's nice to see you using it, just please leave me out of it. Ta Ta!

Ranger Tom said...

You still have not a fucking clue, do you? Go ahead and talk to your buddy Deputy Pearson. I've got nothing to hide from him or anyone. PROVE I did anything, especially since I was working on the railroad the entire time that allegedly happended and couldn't have possibly have done that, along with the pressure tank being vanalized when I was in Kentucky that Chet tried to pin on me.

I still have all my hotel reciepts and airline tickets. I'd like to know how I was able to log on to the internet and feed you spam when I had no access to a computer in the first place, and second, vandalize MY own home when I was 2000 miles away in Kentucky. Just like your pregnacy, I guess those were all miracles too.

I don't give a rat's fat hairy ass what the fuck you do, just leave me, my friends and my family alone...

And yes, I'm alone. I'd rather jerk off than be with a frigid cunt like you. Maybe I should tell everyone how I didn't get so much as a blowjob on my honeymoon from you.

I'm better off alone that with you.