Monday, April 03, 2006

Prehistoric rednecks

So this past weekend was another 32-hour work at the mine and get absolutely no sleep in a shitty motel weekends... Good thing a friend gave me a shitload of new books to read. Well they're not new books really. But you know what I mean.
So I'm at the mine and I'm reading James A Michener's 'Alaska' and I have to chuckle...
Apparently there was rednecks 35,000 years ago, before the last Ice Age when wooly mammoths and saber-toothed tigers roamed North America. Michener, in his grand style, was describing the daily life of a herd of mastodons, or wooly mammoths. In the lead of this fictional herd was 'Matriarch'...
"She had in her herd two daughters, each of whom had two offspring, heifer and bull to the elder, bull and heifer to the younger. Sever discipline on these six was enforced by Matriarch, for the mammoths had learned that survival of their species did not depend very much on the great males with their tremendous showy tusks; the males appeared only in the midsummer for the mating period; the rest of the year they were nowhere to be seen, so they took no responsibility for rearing and educating the young..."
See! Rednecks were around even then!
I can picture it now. A male wooly mammoth, Dale Jr. ballcap pulled low, pulls into a prehistoric version of the Deli Mart...
"Yeah, Gimmie a case a' Bud and a can of Copenhagen... Got some matin' to do tonight!"
It never ends...
Quote Copyright 1950 James A Michener
Copyright 2006 Thomas J Wolfenden

9 comments:

Cheryl said...

LOL! Well I guess that proves Mr. Darwin wrong...

Courtney said...

Good lord - I guess that means rednecks will always prevail...bummer!!!

Dirk said...

Hmmmph. I'll thank you to show some 'spect for my incestors.

Sherri said...

Hmmm.... redneck wolly mamoths, I've gotta smile at that one. LOL

Jay said...

Now THAT is an interesting interpretation!

Lindsey said...

LOL. Budwieser...the true drink of rednecks!

Lisa said...

Oh Great. Just great. SO rednecks are alot like cockroaches. And at some point during a nuclear attack, what would be left would be rednecks crawling out from under the rocks. And they'd possibly mate WITH the cockroaches and then we'd have redneck cockroaches.

Miss Fire said...

So funny that you posted this! Over the weekend, Hubby and I watched something on the Science channel called "A Species Odyssey." When they were describing the Neanderthals, I thought to myself that they were a lot like today's rednecks -- crude and rough on the outside, but resourceful and kind on the inside. And always entertaining to watch.

I also thought about how I was glad the Neaderthals were extinct.... ;-)

honkeie2 said...

It worked then....why fix sumfin dat aint brook?